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Looking For Normal

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Looking For Normal

Call me the Intern. I am the newest member of the Reach Out Recovery team, and I am beyond excited. My job is to spill the beans about college students’ lives and everything parents, kids, and siblings don’t tell about the impact of addiction and recovery on all of us. I’m still in shock that I managed to convince the ROR team to give me an outlet for exploring subjects that have always been taboo. Let’s face it the world is pretty messed up for kids coming up, and someone has to be step up and talk about it.

Who Is The Intern

I am a female college senior in a sorority, so of course that’s a dead give-away that I’m out of my mind. Where I am, I’ll never tell. I love getting down to the nitty gritty, so people talk to me. I hear about the one-night stands where my friends have to leave all their belongings behind just to get out of some sketchy stranger’s bed. I hear guy friends struggle with their self-image. They’re supposed to be manly, strong, and unemotional. But they really want to express their vulnerable side and invite that sexy girl in their class out for a damn burrito. Somewhat innocent. But they can’t be innocent or vulnerable because they’re afraid their peers will mock them. Bullying happens. A lot. I’ve held my best friends’ hands while they cry just as many times as I’ve held their hair while they puke (PSA: quarter beer night is never a good idea).

I’m Really Qualified For This Job

I grew up with an abusive father who would eventually drink himself to death and leave nothing behind but a shattered family in which the hurt keeps coming. In my family we hurt each other and ourselves. I am living proof that “hurt people hurt people’ is the truest statement ever made. And I do it, too. I have cussed out so many people in my life when I wasn’t even that mad at them. People I’m related to and people I hardly know. That means the addiction of others and its side effects has made me mad.

My Life is Messy

It’s really messy. I am a young woman living with a serious hindrance. I don’t know what normal is. And I want it. Being abused for the first 16 years of my life has forever changed me, leaving me asking questions such as: what would it be like to go home for Thanksgiving and the whole family is there cracking jokes and catching up on each other’s life? This is a dream children of alcoholics have. My reality is dreading every family event because siblings are acting out in one way or another, and most often making mom cry. I hate that. Plus the other down side is that no one has time for me. In a family where addiction has lived, no one even cares enough to ask you how school is because everything else is so awful your school work simply DOES.NOT.MATTER.

I Don’t Blame My Father For His addiction

Let me get this straight. Being the Intern is not an opportunity for me to bitch about how my life is so hard. I love my dad. My dad was a victim of alcoholism. He died. It can’t get sadder than that. The day I learned to separate the person from the disease was the day I experienced healing and freedom. And now I have to share.

No One Should Be Alone With This

If addiction has touched your life at home or at school, be assured that you’re not alone. Kids everywhere are faced with their friends doing dangerous things and don’t know how to handle it. There are also at least 30 million children of alcoholics all around you trying to cope. I’m here in the hope that my truthful words will help others struggling for normal like I am. Let’s do this journey together. Instead of keeping the secrets and hiding in shame and embarrassment, let’s tell the truth. I’m very excited about what this blog can offer to children struggling to live in a world where they don’t fit in and feel they are always on the outside. It’s going to be VERY interesting and even more hilarious. Stay tuned. I love you guys as much as Kanye loves Kanye.

Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By: The Intern



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