Letting Go Is The Hardest and Best Gift You Can Give: When loved ones struggle with substance use disorder, or personal adversity, it’s often hard to sit back and let the chips fall where they may. Often we want to fix things or rush to rescue in any way we can. But fixing things can start or perpetuate an enabling cycle that holds everyone back from growing.. “Detach with Love” is a saying we hear a lot in recovery. What it does is allow our struggling loved ones the opportunity to truly be themselves.
What makes detachment such a beautiful gift?
1. Detachment allows everyone the freedom to live life according to what they believe to be the best choices for themselves.
That’s hard for me because I always think I know what is best for someone else. Of course, I don’t. I am not omnipotent and am often wrong when I am sure I am completely right. By imposing my limited viewpoint on another I often cause far more harm than help. Freedom comes with the price of accepting another’s ability to choose…even if the choice is completely wrong to us.
2. Others often learn best when I am not constantly interfering.
As Mark Twain said, “ A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” The best lessons are often the ones with teeth in them and my interfering and trying to protect my loved ones from the reality of their decisions I am denying them the opportunity to wake up. Detaching benefits others, but it also benefits me.
3. When I learn to detach I am able to face my own fears and apprehensions.
By interfering in another’s life I am often attempting to avoid being uncomfortable and stressed. When I allow others the freedom to choose their own direction I am able to trust that which helped me will help them as well. I grow to trust the process and allow myself to breathe.
4. I am able to live a life free of other’s drama by staying in my own life.
My life then becomes a product of my own freely made choices. Having others detach with love from me then allows me these same gifts of detachment and the gift of detachment spreads.
Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By: Nadine Knapp
If you need help letting go, click on the link below for a free resource to locate addiction and mental health professionals near you.