Because parental alienation has been recognized as damaging to children, learning to co-parent with love is becoming an important part of divorce. In some states, like Colorado, couples with children are required to complete a co-parenting course.

Co-parenting Can End Dysfunction

When a marriage with irreconcilable differences dissolves, the rules of the marital household should vanish with it. Have you ever seen the fighting and pain that is carried into new relationships after divorce? Then you know how important it is to put the old marital dysfunction aside and learn a new way to get along. After all, there are different rules when married and divorced. Take dating: this is a no-no when you’re married, but perfectly acceptable when you’re divorced. The same should hold true for parenting rules.

Co-parenting Keeps The Focus On The Children

Co-parenting with love is a beautiful response to the reality of divorce. It is a way for parents to approach the challenges of raising children together,  even though they’ve chosen not to live together. It keeps the focus on the children and away from the blame game that often contributes to
communication breakdowns and hard feelings.

Both Parents Need A Voice

Co-parenting as divorced parents allows each parent the opportunity to have his/her voice heard in the realm of rules and boundaries for the children. Often, there is a “my way or the highway” parenting tone
that existed in the marriage where one spouse’s parenting style took a backseat – or was discounted altogether. Not being heard in a marriage is often cause of the break-up. Not being heard in divorce means more turmoil and unhappiness.

Co-parenting With Love Makes Parents Grow Up

Inconsistent discipline and routines, negative comments about the other parent and/or the other parent’s style of parenting, avoiding communication with the other parent, an unwillingness to compromise and using the child to “punish” the other parent are tactics that can get in the way of successful co-parenting.

A New Foundation For Healthy Families

Successful co-parenting ends the unhealthy dynamics of  a failed relationship. With new understanding and commitment to children, there is room to create a new healthy relationship that benefits all involved. With co-parenting skills, children learn about commitment, responsibility and selflessness as they watch two adults willing to work together on their behalf. Children find safety and security in the consistent routine and rules of co-parenting. It’s a win-win.

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Elizabeth Viszt
Elizabeth is a certified Educational Specialist and Success Coach. She has a BA, MS in biology with a concentration in ethology (animal behavior), is an EAGALA Equine Specialist in equine assisted learning and personal development, and has extensive personal leadership skills. She spent much of her career in education at the high school, college and correctional facility levels teaching biology & chemistry and acting in the capacity of a success coach. Elizabeth presents workshops and seminars which address communication issues as they manifest in personal relationships. She uses writing as both a creative and cathartic outlet, especially after losing both of her parents to cancer in 2015. She lives in upstate NY, on a farm that bears the name of her motto: Be Unreasonable! She's invested in empowering others in moving their pieces forward in the world.

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