When I first came into recovery, I didn’t know what is detachment, or how enmeshed I was with family problems that were out of my control. I was bitter and burnt out. I heard the word detachment and ran.
What is […]
Addiction is a family disease. Everyone is affected and roles are assigned early. My role in the family is peacemaker. The Bible says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” I don’t like to question such a respected […]
According to the CDC, one in three women and one in four men have been victims of physical abuse. For one in five women and one in seven men the abuse is severe, yet many take a long time to or simply refuse to […]
Adult children of alcoholics are molded for dysfunction. What does that mean? It means that the elephant in our world is crisis, and all reality is denied from the moment we’re born. Every day is life in the […]
I want the time spent with my extended family to be filled with love, good food, and memories. Instead, drama hangs in the air like secondhand smoke. An afternoon my Mom’s is often filled with repressed anger, t […]
Why is fear such a common bond among adult children of alcoholics? More importantly, how do we overcome the terror of so many things that stalk us throughout life?
Heights, spiders, tight spaces – they […]
When I first came to recovery, I was certain steps 8 and 9 would be a breeze. After all, I hadn’t hurt anyone (Step 8), so I didn’t need to make any amends (Step 9). I was wrong. So wrong. In fact, every day I […]
I hate being lied to. I grew up in a den of liars, so as a parent, I refuse to tolerate lying, but that’s easier said than done. My teenage son Keith has lied to me twice in the last 12 hours.
Lying Begets […]
My father wasn’t the trustworthy Dad I longed for and it affected me for years. Although he did love me, it was almost always from afar, where he was safe enough to not get attached to me. When he did get close, I […]
This year, the holidays are hitting me hard. Thanks to Pandora, I’ve heard “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” and “(There’s No Place Like) Home For The Holidays” about 20 times every hour for the last three weeks. And […]
It’s the question this God-fearing, church-going Mom doesn’t want to face, but I can’t deny the truth any longer. In August, my teenage son, Keith, found the seedy underbelly of the internet. At 40, I’m still too […]
Two weeks ago, my very codependent mother came over for a socially distant afternoon visit. She’s negative, bossy, and controlling. She constantly worries about everyone else’s business, and her behaviors are […]
According to my Mother, my brother Ricky needs extra love and care because of his addiction. My family rights are ignored. She always favors what’s right for Ricky. In recovery, I learn I have rights […]
My brother Ricky called me, his big sister whenever he needed help. I threw on my hero’s cape and flew to his side. He had been taught there were no consequences to substance use. I was taught to be […]