Lack of self-awareness is what every narcissist has, and because of that, they will always tend to see how people perceive them. Their self-esteem and self-worth depend on others, and they will always try to get as much from you as possible. They will never blame themselves and will deny every mistake and misfortune they have done. The term for this is a projection or projecting, narcissists will blame you. They will project their mistakes on everyone else except themselves.
Here we will show you in some ways how narcissists, who generally have sociopathic and psychotic tendencies. It can twist reality, blame others, and deny accusations that at the end of the day can hurt people that are around them.
1. Blaming others for their advantage
If they ask for forgiveness, the real reason behind it is that so they can hide what they don’t want you to know honestly. Because of this, they have found a way to pass the blame on others. And think that nothing is their fault. Narcissists will always seek to receive public apologies because, in their twisted way, it can work as a psychological outlet.
Furthermore, they use a method that is called gaslighting. With this method, what they do is they will distort reality, and with that will make other people question themselves, which gives them the benefit of pursuing their agenda. Experts have defined gaslighting as a form of mental abuse that narcissists use to manipulate and twist information in their favor. Or they will make up stuff so that their victims question themselves, their rationality, and their perception.
2. Playing the victim
This is a strategy that every narcissist uses. In certain situations, they will always drag other people in the situation. They will play out the problem making sure that it looks like you are the one that is the abuser. They will rarely face you and try to work out things rationally, but will make sure other people see them as the victim.
Because they want to obtain a reaction, some provocation has to occur. It situation where they are misbehaving, turning people against you or straight up attacking you, is when they will try to twist everything up. In those situations, if you decide to respond appropriately, they will say that you are the one that is attacking them or misbehaving and unreasonable. If there is some kind of audience or people nearby who haven’t seen the whole thing and don’t know the entire story behind your reaction, they will sometimes take sides with the narcissist. They won’t even try to hear out your side of the story. Because the narcissist is unstable and wants to manage his/her emotions. They will go to the lengths of making things up to benefit themselves, and their imagination has no limit.
With them, it is never about being truthful but always looking like the good guy in front of others. With that, it makes them believe that they are in the right in any situation and you in the wrong. That can boost their self-esteem and make them feel better about themselves. It is harsh that the truthful and righteous person in the situation gets the blame for everything.
Triangulation is a method that narcissists use when they get into a heated situation often with family members. The case gets heated when one person is not saying the whole truth or is twisting the entire story in general. Because that person is not telling the entire truth, the tension in the family builds up, and unnecessary situations arise. The majority of times, this happens within households between family members, but it can also occur in different social circles. Again in these kinds of situations, the narcissist will try to find someone as their scapegoat.
They can’t fool or lie to someone that doesn’t want to be deceived, so they will try to manipulate people who they can dominate. When situations arise where they need to use someone, they will always try to make that person cover for them or blame them for everything. Because narcissists can’t see that sometimes in the stories that they tell, some spots are confusing and don’t make sense, or some parts don’t add up. It is very noticeable that they are making stuff up. The responsibility then falls into the hands of the people that cover them or enable this type of behavior. Because there are inconsistent, often, the truth will come out eventually.
4. Calling you things you are not
There are loads of examples that we can say that will shine a light on this problem. Narcissists will always make sure to question yourself and will often forget about the things you do for them. They still have excuses, are often unreliable, make promises that they never stick to. When you can’t or won’t do something for them, they will make you feel terrible. One of the more common examples is when a partner accuses the other partner of cheating when they are not cheating. At the same time, the narcissists are doing that same thing behind their backs. They always feel like you have to give them or try to provide things for them. If you refuse to do them, they will use manipulative tactics like the one we mentioned earlier. They will even call you names, curse at you, shame you, provoke and criticize you until you can’t take it anymore, and you either give in to their demands and needs or just break up with them. In situations when you confront them, either they will direct all the abuse at you, or they will drag someone else’s problems or mistakes, so they feel better. Then you are stuck talking about how the other person is terrible and their mistakes are more awful then theirs. Getting this kind of abuse is horrible, and as we said, it is better just to walk away from that kind of relationship and never fall for their abuse or manipulations again.
5. High expectations and unrealistic goals
Narcissists also tend to set goals for themselves that can be very unrealistic. Because they will always deny or try to make you feel like you are the one with excuses, over the years, they strongly believe in those goals. They still have a perfect image in their heads of what the future looks like for them, and having those high expectations becomes a part of their life.
When some of those expectations don’t come true of don’t get fulfilled, they think that the world owes them everything and that others are to blame for their mistakes and failures. Reality isn’t the same for them and us, they struggle to accept it and only want what is best for them. It doesn’t matter what you do or how hard you try to do something they will always avoid facing reality. They can’t see what is going on, and while it is clear to us what the clear picture, they just keep on living their made-up fantasies. Anything else but reality and becoming an ordinary, decent person is what they do.
Sometimes you don’t even notice what they are doing, because they are quite good at convincing and manipulating you to think that they are normal. These are just some of the signs to look for in a person to see if they have narcissistic tendencies.
This content was originally published here.