Julia Roberts, plays Maggie in Runaway Bride, a young girl who doesn’t even know how she likes her eggs. While the movie’s main focus is on Maggie’s compulsion to leave men at the altar, a side plot shows Maggie caring for her alcoholic father. The script never defines her struggle as codependency, but it brilliantly depicts how easy it is to lose yourself while caring for an addict.
Co-dependency in Real Life
My codependency compels me to make my husband, my son, or even strangers at the grocery store comfortable at any cost. After pleasing everyone else, I usually don’t have enough energy or money to take care of me. The worst part is they have no idea I’m doing this. My husband is kind and generous; he wouldn’t want me to treat myself like this. Yet, I “suffer” in silence until I’m resentful and exhausted from loving them so much. Then I’m no longer silent. I’m snappy, edgy, and not at all the loving wife, mother, or random do-gooder I want to be.
Co-dependency in My Past
Although I’m blessed to not be living with active addiction, the “generational sins” of alcoholism and codependency built a sturdy framework for my emotional prison. Walking on eggshells to avoid anger and punishment served me well when I was younger, but I don’t have to live like that anymore. It’s time to break the habit I no longer need to survive.
Co-dependency’s Not in My Future
Since codependency hurts me and others, I’ll just stop. Seems simple enough, right? Unfortunately, recovery is a journey, not a magic wand or time machine. Change starts with awareness, then acceptance, and then finally action (which is superbly explained in Nadine Knapp’s three part series). After 11 months of recovery, I’m becoming aware of how uncomfortable I am when someone else is uncomfortable. I’m only on the first A.
How this Codependent likes her Eggs
I love Polska kielbasa, but my husband doesn’t, so for years I never bought it. It took six months of recovery to learn I also deserve to have my favorite foods. My grocery store regularly has this treat on sale, so I’ve added it to my weekly list.
Recipe for Great Day Omelette
Every morning serves up another chance for me to have a fresh start – for me to take care of me. And putting my physical needs first is a great place to begin. This simple omelet is quick, full of protein, and delicious. It’s also easy on my budget, so I can justify throwing the ingredients into my cart because Codependent Pam has a tough time spending money on herself. The secret isn’t in the ingredients or the method; it’s in the chef’s subtle shift in power.
- In a small skillet, slice a serving of polska kielbasa, smoked sausage, bacon, ham, or breakfast meat of YOUR choice into bite size pieces.
- Heat over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. I like caramelized edges, but my husband does not. Thus, this is a single serve omelet. J
- Crack egg into measuring cup and whisk to blend yolk and white. Of course, you could make this healthier by omitting the yolk. It’s up to YOU.
- Pour egg over browned meat and let cook.
- When omelet is set, flip over and top with cheese. I prefer a blend of cheddars, again depending on what’s on sale.
- Fold omelet to let cheese melt and serve.
If I double this recipe to share with my son, I add one crucial step:
- Do NOT cut his omelet before handing him his plate. This might seem obvious, but my co-dependency runs deep and requires a lot of self-talk.
A Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By: Pam Carver