The loaner car was the same model and color; a year older, it had the factory installed grey carpet that would hold the raindrops from the downpour that the parched land greedily drank. The wheel felt familiar in my hands, the dash looked the same, there was plenty of leg room, it was clean and comfortable… but it just didn’t handle the same way. It wasn’t a good fit.

We May Know When A Car Isn’t Right But What About When A Person Isn’t Right

It’s amazing how readily we can tell when a car isn’t a good fit, but cannot make the same distinction as easily with the people in our lives. We give second and sometimes third chances to people who simply aren’t a fit. Then, we blame ourselves and vow to be more open and understanding. Next we make excuses for poor behavior and chastise ourselves for not doing enough to make what we know is an unhealthy relationship work. We lower our standards and smudge our boundaries in an effort to force the fit.

We take it on like an inadequacy in our worthiness; staying in the relationship far longer than what our intuition would typically allow. But put us in a car that’s not a fit, and we’re quick to point out that it’s just not right for us. No one’s fault. Just not a good fit. If we can trust our gut in choice of vehicle, couldn’t we also trust it in choosing a healthy relationship?

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Elizabeth Viszt
Elizabeth is a certified Educational Specialist and Success Coach. She has a BA, MS in biology with a concentration in ethology (animal behavior), is an EAGALA Equine Specialist in equine assisted learning and personal development, and has extensive personal leadership skills. She spent much of her career in education at the high school, college and correctional facility levels teaching biology & chemistry and acting in the capacity of a success coach. Elizabeth presents workshops and seminars which address communication issues as they manifest in personal relationships. She uses writing as both a creative and cathartic outlet, especially after losing both of her parents to cancer in 2015. She lives in upstate NY, on a farm that bears the name of her motto: Be Unreasonable! She's invested in empowering others in moving their pieces forward in the world.

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