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10 Take-Aways From A Relationship That’s Ended



10 Take-Aways From A Relationship That’s Ended

Our relationship has ended.  Not failed, but simply completed. We need to rethink what endings can teach us about the past and future.

What saddens me is not the end of the possibility of there being an “us”; but the loss of the friendship and the knowing that we should have left it alone and remained on the friend shelf. Now, we are nothing. It’s the square peg-round hole syndrome — no one is at fault, we just don’t fit together nearly as well as we had expected. We managed to take a friendship based on mutual adventures and be unable to transform it into a partnership based on mutual values. In doing so, we sacrificed that which brought us together as friends in the first place.

From it I have learned many lessons:

  1. To be present to what’s right in front of me. Instead of how I want it to look/feel. People really do show you who they really are if you’re paying attention.
  2. To be observant to what’s going on around me; instead of closing my eyes and thinking that things will work out without my being actionable or accountable.
  3. To be curious as to the bigger picture – after all, how we are in one area of our lives is how we are in all areas.
  4. To treat myself well so that I can show others how to treat me.
  5. To detach and create space when I need expanded awareness … and be unapologetic about it.
  6. To continue my journey of self-awareness – to be who I am and to believe that I really do know what’s best for me.
  7. To leave my boundaries where they are; and not smudge them because… well… maybe it’ll be different THIS time.
  8. To let go. To be unattached to meaningless things and to close the door when required.
  9. To choose to stay within who I am and not allow old wounds and past triggers to complicate matters with endless debating and trying to explain myself.
  10. To be open to the transformation of who I am in the process and to give myself time to heal, relax and stretch myself in areas that are on the edge of my comfort zone.

And for all of this, I am grateful.



Elizabeth is a certified Educational Specialist and Success Coach. She has a BA, MS in biology with a concentration in ethology (animal behavior), is an EAGALA Equine Specialist in equine assisted learning and personal development, and has extensive personal leadership skills. She spent much of her career in education at the high school, college and correctional facility levels teaching biology & chemistry and acting in the capacity of a success coach. Elizabeth presents workshops and seminars which address communication issues as they manifest in personal relationships. She uses writing as both a creative and cathartic outlet, especially after losing both of her parents to cancer in 2015. She lives in upstate NY, on a farm that bears the name of her motto: Be Unreasonable! She’s invested in empowering others in moving their pieces forward in the world.

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