I just spent HALF the day discussing my issue du jour with one sober sister then another. It began with a situation that made me uncomfortable... Wow, something made me uncomfortable. What a shocker. I immediately called my sober sister to tell her about it while also trying to get out of going to the meeting she was on her way to pick me up for. Needless to say, I was picked up for the meeting, and we talked about what happened on the ride to the meeting, while getting coffee, then on the way home from the meeting.
All in all, my sober sister spent three hours "unpacking" this problem with me. Then I got home and I called another sober sister to do the same thing because apparently I had not had enough of talking about myself and my feelings. By the end of many hours, I felt much better. Want to know why?
I felt heard. I felt respected. I felt loved. That’s what our sober sisters do for us.
I love my family, but they don’t always know what to say to me, and I don’t always know what to say to them and that's okay. I care deeply for many of the people in my life, but it's the same thing. I am okay to admit that communicating with people is something I’m always working on getting better at because…most people can’t read minds.
However, sober sisters CAN read minds!
I need people in my life who can read my mind because I like to suffer in silence. The great martyr inside me wants to feel pain and not tell anyone. I want to keep it a secret and let it fester until I’m being eaten from the inside out. That’s the place where I get to be self-destructive and ultimately go out. This is why it’s vital to have sober sisters who can take one look at me and say, “What’s wrong?” Or, “What kind of trouble are you getting into?” We just operate on a different plane. We get that we wake up in the morning with broken thinking and we need each other to help fix it. We talk to each other for hours about our problems, work, whatever’s taking up room in our heads and hearts.
Having friends like this in recovery is absolutely critical for survival.
Now, this is nothing against our loved ones and boyfriends and girlfriends and siblings. I'm just shining a light on this particular part of the recovery family because it is so damn important. Part of a healthy recovery is having people you can tell anything and everything to—it doesn’t all have to be to the same person. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be. But, having women who act as a sisterhood of support and can laugh at the horrors with you and cry at the heartbreak is literally everything.
I've learned the hard way that there’s no point in discussing every weird thought that comes into my head with certain people. They won’t get it, and it will upset them. You must know your audience when you go into recovery. The beauty of sober sisters is you can give them anything, and they can handle it. There’s also this weird miraculous phenomenon that we NEVER lose our shit at the same time. It’s the craziest thing. Someone is always stable!
Anyway, we made the sober sisters pin because we literally love our sober sisters and wanted to do something that would show pride in this significant relationship.
So, Happy Recovery Month! Stay sober, love your sisters and let’s get through this crazy ride together.