When you need help with a bully, don't keep silent. From bulldozer bosses to pushy family members to spouses, friends and love relationships, bullying continues long beyond the playground. Here's how it works to make you feel helpless and what to do.
8 Signs You Have A Bully In Your Life
Bullies create diversion to drinking, drugging, or not doing doing well in many areas. They go on the offensive by accusing, and provoking others. Here are some ways that bullies can beat you down and create misery in your life.
- Repeatedly gives undeserved criticism
- Uses verbal or physical abuse
- Has excessive or unrealistic expectations of you
- Abuses your rights and dignity
- Doesn't listen to anything you say
- Is always opinionated and judgmental
- Manipulates situations to his/her advantage
- Never takes responsibility for his/her actions
15 Ways Bullies Destroy You
Bullies will keep you angry and anxious, so you start wondering what is wrong with you and not them.
- You feel intimidated or humiliated almost every day
- You feel like hiding from the world because your bully has created havoc in your life
- You’re not sure what’s going on or what’s the truth
- You find yourself questioning your own sanity
- You feel anxious
- You experience depression
- You lose your self-confidence and self esteem
- You’re fearful
- You feel lonely and alienated
- You have abandonment issues
- You’re afraid of rejection
- You can’t sleep
- You have suicidal thoughts
- You miss work
- You have other symptoms, too many to mention
What Not To Do
In the playground and at school, children are often afraid to tell.
Ignoring a bully will only give him (or her) the power to continue in their destructive behavior.
Find Your Voice
Learn how to express yourself without the fear of breaking down, always talk about how accusations and criticism made you feel. Bad.
Learn how to express your feelings in a calm and collected way. Don't back down when someone says you're making it up, or lying. Find others who can back you up.
Collect Your Allies
Friends, co-workers and family members can be your cheerleaders and validate your feelings, as in: “No you are not crazy, this really happened to you”
Learn To Communicate With One Idea At A Time
Bullies are impatient and short, so tackle one subject at a time. Once you touched one subject don’t add, “And what about your aunt’s visit?”
Take Care Of You
Become your own friend, be gentle with yourself and your self-care.
Begin to trust your own feelings.
You deserve to be happy again, whether at your workplace, with your family unit and with your friends.
Gila is a strategic planner and brand developer. She has a wide range of experience from being the business manager of a mid-size hospital to the case manager in evaluating retired NFL players for the concussion injuries rating. She has worked with national and international companies in the area of board reorganization, re-branding, and public awareness. Gila also brings extensive volunteer experience with local and global non-profit organizations.