This Mother’s Day I am grateful to be Mom to five unique individuals Like most Mothers I am surprised how I can raise 5 children in the same household and with the same two parents and yet they turn out so completely different from each other. Therefore, the prayers I have for them are quite different.
My Prayer Slogan for Max is: Progress, Not Perfection
For my oldest son, Max and the oldest child. He was our first and we had no clue about addiction or recovery. Our denial was deep from the beginning. Today Max struggles with a diagnosis of being Bipolar. He also suffers from perfectionism and will obsess about every detail of a project for hours until he is exhausted and gives up. I know he has always wanted a family and it breaks my heart that he may never have that. For today I pray he finds balance and realizes that flawed is the new perfect.
My Prayer Slogan for Mitch is: Live and Let Live
For Mitch, the middle son, with whom I am no longer speaking, I pray for freedom to forgive. We decided recently to finally tell the truth to each other. I told him I was not his scapegoat. He didn’t like that at all. He told me I was a terrible mother. Even though we aren’t speaking or texting, I can pray for him. I pray that he can forgive me for being a flawed mother. I am sure the trauma from all that his young eyes witnessed has caused a great deal of his resentment. A beautiful prayer for him is to find forgiveness for himself and others. Forgiveness and acceptance of what is frees us from self taught hate and bitterness. His constant need to be a victim holds him back from ever moving forward. I pray he forgives me and himself someday soon.
My Prayer Slogan for Marvin is: One Day At A Time
For my youngest son, Marvin I pray a Mother’s prayer for him to finish his college degree. Presently Marvin is working full time while going to school full time. Marvin wants to move forward after his last breakup with his girlfriend of 6 years. He got off track a few years ago leaving college in a deep depression, getting a DUI, and struggling with homelessness. All this seemed to have fueled his desire to beat the odds. I know college is not easy for Marvin, but I do believe he is determined to graduate and overcome his past. While his goal seems far away at times, I pray he remembers life is easier when you live it 24 hours at a time.
My Prayer Slogan for Marcie is: Keep It Simple
For my oldest daughter, Marcie I pray for the ability for her to embrace being bored. Growing up in our volatile family that was plagued with alcohol use disorder, it is difficult for her at times to embrace the ordinary rythym of healthy living. She has had two difficult and extremely needy boyfriends who have taught her the benefits of learning what a healthy relationship looks like. I am glad she has embraced the benefits of recovery by attending Al-Anon meetings occasionally and seeing a therapist. It is difficult to replace a childhood full of drama with a quiet daily routine. My prayer for her is that she learns to love living a simple life.
My Prayer slogan for Madison is: Acceptance
For Madison, my youngest daughter and child. She saw first hand the heartbreaking final stages of Alcohol Use Disorder in her father. She was only 13 and trying to understand a confounding disease has surely left her scarred and wounded. She saw fighting and endless arguments between her father and me. I pray that she finds the rooms of recovery sooner than I did. She was with me when we found her father’s body. I pray she remembers the wonderful parts of her childhood and accepts the reality of what happened.
This Mother’s Day I also say a pray for me that I remember to practice excellent self care. I am their mother and I know they need a parent who is caring for herself. Without that love and self-care they will only have a tired burnt out mother and that is not what I want for them. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers who love children who struggle with addiction.
A Reach Out Recovery Exclusive By: Madeline Schloop