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6 Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back

Relationships

6 Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back

6 Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back

Unrequited love happens in families a lot. We hear a lot of stories about people who feel they’re being destroyed by loved ones who just…don’t act loving. What is that about. When people you love make you feel horrible, it’s hard to believe, and almost impossible to accept, that they’re just not into you. In fact, they may not love you at all. When do you know that what your gut tells you is true?

It’s confusing. Loved ones may say they may want you around for a lot of reasons. They may want you for the façade of happy family, or happy marriage. They may believe (or know) you give good presents or money when they need it. But if you feel bad whenever you speak to them, or when they put you off or ignore you, they’re sending you a message. “I just don’t care about you.” Believe it.

Here are 6 Red Flags That You Are Anything But Loved

Denying There’s Anything Wrong

You’re not included. Your loved one has better things to do when you come to town. He/she stands you up. You can’t get him/her on the phone. You feel horrible and ask what’s going on. Your loved one says it’s all in your head, “You jealous freak, you.”

Not Listening To Anything You Say

You’re always wrong. When you disagree with a loved one and he/she lawyers you to death, it’s demoralizing. You’re battered with a dozen reasons you’re wrong. You may feel you don’t exist. And for your loved one, you don’t. There is no way you will ever win an argument or be right about anything.

Triangulating Against You

Your loved one enlists others, your friends or family, into taking sides against you by telling bad things about you. Ganging up at any age makes you into the bad guy that deserves shunning or shaming.

Keeping Secrets

There’s a lot you’re excluded from. Your loved one doesn’t want you to know what’s going on in his/her life, or hides other important facts from you. You make mistakes based on incorrect information. You feel you’re in the dark, and you are.

Gaslighting

Your loved one denies things he/she did, or lies about things you actually know the truth about. Gaslighting constantly puts you on shifting ground so that you never know what’s real. Gaslighting is intended to control and drive you crazy.

Blaming and Shaming

You’re blamed for everything–from tiny things that aren’t perfect–to everything that’s gone wrong in the family, friendship, marriage and every relationship since the beginning of time. You’re also reminded of every mistake and humiliating thing you ever did.

Sometimes people are not aware they hurt you and can be taught to be more sensitive. If they love you, they will listen to your concerns, apologize and make adjustments. When they won’t listen, make excuses, or blame you for having legitimate feelings, however, they know exactly what they’re doing. They won’t change, and you need to find new, and trustworthy, people to love.

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Leslie Glass is the founder of Reach Out Recovery and the winner of the 2016 ASAM Media Award. Leslie is also the creator of Recovery Guidance, the information website for those seeking addiction and mental healthcare for professionals nationwide. Leslie is a journalist, director/producer of award-winning documentaries, and the author of 15 bestselling novels. Leslie has served as Chairman of the Board of Plays For Living, was a member of the Board of Directors of Mystery Writers of America. She has served as a Public Member of the Middle States Commission of Higher Education, as a VP of The Asolo Theatre, and was a Trustee of the New York City Police Foundation.

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