Stop Rolling Those Eyes And Listen
Can you listen when you think you already know it all? Not really. When you’re listening to something and you think, “I already know this,” there is no learning. Subsets of this lack of paying attention to another person are: “I’ve heard this before,” and “Here we go again with this story.” No Progress can […]
Ghosting Why It Hurts –
Ghosting is shunning taken to a whole new level in the digital age. Isolating and ignoring people has been used since forever by regimes and religious groups use to control the beliefs and behavior of its members. Perceived wrongdoing followed by punishment in the form of the silent treatment, banishment, excommunication, torture, and even death […]
7 Warning Signs Of Passive Aggression
Passive aggression is a sneaky way to hide outright war. Every war, bar brawl or playground smackdown ever fought has resulted from our habit of lashing out first and talking it through only later. But if aggression has one virtue, it’s that it’s unambiguous. It’s hard to misunderstand the meaning of a missile launch or […]
How Does a Narcissist Think?
Source: lightwavemedia/Shutterstock Is the word narcissism being overused or thrown around too lightly? Do we need a deeper understanding of this behavior and why it is so harmful, and sometimes dangerous? Having studied the disorder for more than 25 years, and having treating many survivors of relationships with narcissists, I have seen firsthand how disarming, […]
A Lesson In Detaching With Love
Detaching with love does not come easily to me. In fact, as a people-pleasing codependent, I’ve spent a lifetime caring for others in an unfruitful way, and not detaching at all. Here’s my story of overreacting when things don’t go my way. My story of detaching with love begins with an orange tree I rushed […]
Beware The Rubber Band of Recovery Language
Recovery language can feel manipulative. But don’t be surprised when people in recovery use their newly acquired recovery language to continue to control others. Behavior doesn’t improve overnight. The truth is where there is alcohol and substance use, destructive conditioning has actually changed everything about us. Our personalities are completely altered, and don’t return to […]