Enabling Adult Children Who Only Want Money
Enabling Adult Children Drove Me Crazy For Years This is the time of the year when enabling adult children can be the most difficult for parents. Your children can guilt you over grandchildren’s needs and not having enough funds to support them. They can keep grandchildren from you and refuse to be with you over […]
A Lesson In Detaching With Love
Detaching with love does not come easily to me. In fact, as a people-pleasing codependent, I’ve spent a lifetime caring for others in an unfruitful way, and not detaching at all. Here’s my story of overreacting when things don’t go my way. My story of detaching with love begins with an orange tree I rushed […]
Beware The Rubber Band of Recovery Language
Recovery language can feel manipulative. But don’t be surprised when people in recovery use their newly acquired recovery language to continue to control others. Behavior doesn’t improve overnight. The truth is where there is alcohol and substance use, destructive conditioning has actually changed everything about us. Our personalities are completely altered, and don’t return to […]
Blessed Are The Peacemakers?
Addiction is a family disease. Everyone is affected and roles are assigned early. My role in the family is peacemaker. The Bible says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” I don’t like to question such a respected source, but from my experience, being a peacemaker feels anything but blessed. I have, however, found great peace through recovery, […]
The Co-dependent’s Recipe For Forgiveness –
Does the idea of forgiveness leave a bitter taste in your mouth? Mine too. The accountant in wants to reconcile the past while the stress eater in me needs to binge. Here’s how my accounting background and a healthy bean dip helped me tackle forgiveness without eating my weight in chocolate. Back in the day, […]
Infertility & Codependency Wreck Mother’s Day
For years I struggled with infertility and grew to hate Mother’s Day. For many people, Mother’s Day isn’t a happy brunch with a sappy card. It’s sadness, regret, division, resentment, worry, and grief. Those are my people. Here’s why I hate Mother’s day. Years ago, a few well-meaning men from my small rural church said, […]