Relationship Repair: Don’t Be The “Fixer”
There is a tendency to live in patterns, or to re-live patterns…depending on what works for any given person. Being a fixer is one such pattern. Often, the patterns are hidden from our view, found outside our peripheral vision or in our blind spots. These patterns play themselves out in every area of our lives […]
Recovery Protects Everyone’s Family Rights
According to my Mother, my brother Ricky needs extra love and care because of his addiction. My family rights are ignored. She always favors what’s right for Ricky. In recovery, I learn I have rights too.
Are You One Of The Ten Most Wanted Enablers
There has been a rash of crimes by a well known gang of enablers. They often swoop into a crisis and derail reality by helping their loved one to avoid the consequences of his or her actions. These enablers interfere in the natural process of life.
7 Ways To Independently Love Another
Maintaining individuality in a loving relationship requires quite a bit of self awareness and sensitivity all around. If you’re codependent or an adult child of an alcoholic (ACoA), you’re likely to be subsumed by the needs of your loved one. You start by never thinking of your own likes and dislikes. Next, boundaries go out […]
Bitterness, Blame, and Banana Bread
Some ingredients, like lemons, are naturally bitter. That’s why we balance them with something that’s naturally sweet. The same principle applies to bitterness, like the time when my sister-in-law bit my son.
People-Pleasing And A Polska Kielbasa Omelet
You might be codependent if your standard restaurant order is, “I’ll have what he’s having.” Here’s the story of how my love affair with an omelet ended (thanks to people-pleasing) and began again (thanks to recovery). Losing Our True Selves Little by little, codependency (more specifically people-pleasing) drives us to give up our wants and […]