The-Codependent’s Remedy For Resentment
Before I found recovery, I thought my grown-up life to be like TV shows. When no one followed my script for their lives, my expectations led to resentment. Ideally, my family of three would join my extended family for meals, holidays, and parties. We’d laugh together and cry with each other. Our deep love for […]
A Lesson In Detaching With Love
Detaching with love does not come easily to me. In fact, as a people-pleasing codependent, I’ve spent a lifetime caring for others in an unfruitful way, and not detaching at all. Here’s my story of overreacting when things don’t go my way. My story of detaching with love begins with an orange tree I rushed […]
Beware The Rubber Band of Recovery Language
Recovery language can feel manipulative. But don’t be surprised when people in recovery use their newly acquired recovery language to continue to control others. Behavior doesn’t improve overnight. The truth is where there is alcohol and substance use, destructive conditioning has actually changed everything about us. Our personalities are completely altered, and don’t return to […]
How To Be The Best Kind Of Loner
From Psychology Today: Self-awareness, confidence, and knowing what works for them. Author and advice columnist Dan Savage was asked this question by one of his readers: “Why do I say yes to dates if I love being alone?” In his answer, Savage pointed to relentless social pressures, then described three kinds of loners: […]
10 Break-Up Take-Aways
I needed some break-up take-aways to understand what happened and how I should feel about it. When a relationship is over, you don’t have to think of it as failed, but simply completed. Your break-up provides an uninvited opportunity to examine the past and future.
Children of Alcoholics Search For Normal
Like most adult children of alcoholics, I don’t know what normal is, so I’m often unaware that I’m in an abnormal, unhealthy situation. How can I solve a problem I don’t know I have?