10 Tips To Raise A Strong Willed Child

Meeting The Challenges Of Parenting A Strong Willed Child

There is a flame that burns within a strong-willed child. It is the flame that pushes them to stand firm when they believe in something and the flame that one day will make them a great leader. But as a parent, it can feel like you’re constantly negotiating with a tiny CEO who refuses to take no for an answer. Traditional discipline methods hardly ever work.

Punishments, yelling, and rigid demands have the opposite effect, and you and your child both end up frustrated and exhausted. Don’t worry; there are more effective ways to teach them without constant struggles. It starts with learning their personality and working with them, not against them.

Understanding the Strong-Willed Child

These children aren’t being stubborn because they want to be. They yearn to be autonomous, they want to question, and they need to feel like they have a say in their world. When something doesn’t make sense to them, compliance isn’t their instinct.

This is not to imply that they are defiant by choice. They have an overwhelming urge to understand how things work. That is why “because” is never a sufficient answer. They yearn for explanations, decisions, and control over their world.

Strong Willed Child 1: Set Boundaries,

The issue is not rules, but unreasonable ones. A child with a strong will will object if something is unfair or doesn’t make sense. Instead of, “Because I said so,” give an explanation they can comprehend.

For example, instead of saying, “Get your shoes on right away,” say, “We have to leave in five minutes to get to the store before closing. Would you rather wear sneakers or sandals?” You’re still getting what you want, but you’re giving them a choice in how to get it. That tiny bit of autonomy makes all the difference.

Strong Willed Child 2: Make Learning Active

Getting a strong-willed child to sit still and absorb it all is as successful as trying to herd cats. They must have movement, interaction, and a sense of purpose for their learning.

If they are learning to count, make them hop up the stairs counting aloud. If they are learning their alphabet, have them practice tracing the letters in sand or shaving cream instead of writing them on paper with a pencil. Hands-on learning keeps them interested and prevents the frustration of sit-down learning.

Strong Willed Child 3: Offer Choices

Strong-willed children need to feel in charge, yet too many options are daunting. The trick is to offer limited choices that all work for you.

If reading practice is overdue, ask, “Would you rather read on the couch or outside in the sun?” If they must put their toys away, “Would you rather put the blocks away first or the stuffed animals?” They have the final choice, and you still get the desired outcome. It’s a win-win.

Strong Willed Child 4: Keep Calm When They Push Back

There will be moments when your obstinate child will refuse to budge. The more agitated you get, the more they dig their heels in. The key is to keep your cool.

Instead of shouting, try to validate their feelings first: “You don’t want to leave the park, I understand. This is enjoyable. But we have to leave so we can have dinner together.” They may not be content but will be more compliant if they feel they have been heard.

Strong Willed Child 5: Problem Solving

There will be resistance when a strong-willed child feels as though you are dictating their every move. But they will be much more inclined to cooperate if they are included.

When they struggle with a task, instead of taking over and giving them directions, ask, “How do you think we can do it?” Whether it is solving a puzzle, tying their shoelaces, or getting dressed in the morning, giving them the ability to come to their own solution builds their self-confidence and avoids power struggles.

Strong Willed Child 6: The Preschool Years

This is an era where a strong will is especially prevalent. Preschoolers are learning their place in the world, and they want to control everything, even in the preschool, with things like what they will and will not eat, when they will and will not sleep, and if they even acknowledge that there are rules.

Through these early years, balance is key. They do need limits, but they need independence to explore and have choices. Please don’t shut down their intense feelings but guide them through decision-making. Have them pick their outfit (even if it doesn’t match), choose between two snack options, or pick which book to read to bed. These mini-decisions satisfy their want to be independent without keeping their lives too unscheduled.

Strong Willed Child 7: Practice Connection, Rather Than Correction

A willful child will struggle more if they feel that you oppose them. The more they trust, the more they will comply. Time together, no matter how minimal, brings you closer. One-to-one attention makes them feel safe, even if only for a few minutes, cuddling on the couch, baking, or simply playing a game. When they think they can rely on you, they will work with you more willingly than against you.

Strong Willed Child 8: Preparing a Future Leader

It is tempting to be frustrated when your child argues about everything. However, the same obstinacy will serve them all their lives. They are children who will not be easily swayed by peer pressure. They will not blindly follow senseless regulations. They will learn to stand their ground and critically examine the world as they mature.

The goal is not to destroy their spirit but to teach them to direct their determination positively. By offering them choices, being attuned to their need to control, and keeping yourself emotionally in balance, you are giving them the tools they will use to be independent thinkers without the ongoing battle for control.

And if all else fails, just remember: one day, that same strong will could be just what makes them unstoppable in whatever they do.

Strong Willed Child 9: Play For Emotional Growth

Play is not only fun—it is how children manage their feelings and make sense of the world. An independent child requires a suitable avenue to exhaust their frustrations and test their limits in a healthy way. Imaginative play, storytelling, and rough-and-tumble play give them the chance to exercise their independence without disconnecting from you. Don’t view play as separate from discipline and learning but as a powerful tool to foster positive behavior and resilience.

Strong Willed Child 10: Teach Patience

Patience is not a natural virtue in most children, and strong-willed ones make waiting their turn or waiting to receive what they want an impossibility. Instead of demanding they “just be patient,” teach them gradually through little practice to acquire it. Turn-taking activities, sequential tasks, and even simple breathing techniques can all play a part. By learning patience themselves, instead of just being told to have it, you establish a more cooperative interaction that carries over into daily routines.