You might be codependent if your standard restaurant order is, “I’ll have what he’s having.” Here’s the story of how my love affair with an omelet ended (thanks to people-pleasing) and began again (thanks to recovery).

Losing Our True Selves

Little by little, codependency (more specifically people-pleasing) drives us to give up our wants and needs. We cut out a favorite song here or a favorite restaurant there. We give up a hobby that someone else hates. We quit watching our favorite TV show because someone else doesn’t get British humor. Before we know it, we can’t even remember what we like to eat, wear, or do. My co-dependency compels me to make everyone around me comfortable at any cost. This means I cook to please others and not myself. How on earth did I get here?

Codependency In My Past

Although I’m blessed to not be living with active addiction, the “generational sins” of alcoholism and codependency built a sturdy framework for my emotional prison.  Walking on eggshells to avoid anger and punishment served me well when I was younger, but I don’t have to live like that anymore. It’s time to break the habit I no longer need to survive.

My Omelet Comes With Sausage

I love polska kielbasa, but my husband doesn’t, so for years I never bought it. It took six months of recovery to learn I also deserve to have my favorite foods. My grocery store regularly has this treat on sale, so I’ve added it to my weekly list.

Recipe For An Independent Omelet

Every morning serves up another chance for me to have a fresh start – for me to take care of me. And putting my physical needs first is a great place to begin. This simple omelet is quick, full of protein, and delicious. It’s also easy on my budget, so I can justify throwing the ingredients into my cart because Codependent Pam has a tough time spending money on herself. The secret isn’t in the ingredients or the method; it’s in the chef’s subtle shift in power.

  1. In a small skillet, slice a serving of polska kielbasa, smoked sausage, bacon, ham, or breakfast meat of YOUR choice into bite size pieces.
  2. Heat over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. I like caramelized edges, but my husband does not. Thus, this is a single serve omelet. 🙂
  3. Crack egg into measuring cup and whisk to blend yolk and white. Of course, you could make this healthier by omitting the yolk. It’s up to YOU.
  4. Pour egg over browned meat and let cook.
  5. When omelet is set, flip over and top with cheese. I prefer a blend of cheddars, again depending on what’s on sale.
  6. Fold omelet to let cheese melt and serve.

If I double this recipe to share with my son, I add one crucial step:

  1. Do NOT cut his omelet before handing him his plate. This might seem obvious, but my co-dependency runs deep and requires a lot of self-talk.

cookbook-pictureWant to own the delightful Co-Dependent’s Cookbook? Buy now


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Pam Carver

Pam is the author of two books: Co-dependent In The Kitchen, and Find Your True Colors In 12 Steps. She's also a contributing editor for Reach Out Recovery. She's a recovery advocate who likes long walks on the beach and chocolate.

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