Grief Revisited: Tips For Growing Past Sadness

Grief Revisited: An Opportunity For Growth

Grief revisited comes from insights shared by Dr. Katie Eastman, a new contributor to Reach Out Recovery. Dr. Katie is a renown grief therapist and coach who recently worked with me and my daughter and co author, Lindsey, on some of our own issues with grieving. In only two sessions, Katie had resolved the issue that had been plaguing us for years. We won’t share her technique of working with us here. She can do that for you herself. In a nutshell, she gave us a new and healthier way to look at our situation, and the relief of letting go for both of us was immense. Nothing changed but our attitude, and that was everything we needed.

Grief Revisited Is About Opening Your Mind

We tried therapy because we kept thinking the same things over and over, and Lindsey and I did some trauma bonding (not a good thing) around our issue. Telling ourselves the same story and getting upset every time. Therapy is opens the door to the possibility and reality that you don’t have to change a situation to feel better. And that works for small losses and profound ones.

Years ago I wrote an article about all the ways that we grieve, often without knowing where the pain is coming from, and why it can be so difficult to get over. The article is called Unresolved Grief. Every time something upsetting happens to us can an opportunity for grief. Moving away from friends as a child, losing a parent of a friend. For an adult the loss of a job or an important friendship. These are all good reasons for grief.

Dr. Katie offers a new way to Grief therapist Katie Eastman has some insight about grief that I hadn’t considered before. Her insights begin below.

Grief Revisited Is A New Way To Process Loss

What if we viewed grief differently? Can we imagine a world where the term “unresolved grief” doesn’t exist? Could we replace this often pejorative phrase with the opportunity for a different kind of healing?

I propose “grief revisited.” This concept is rooted in the “continuing bonds” theory of grief by Klaus, Silverman, and Niman. Their 1969 research suggested incorporating the memories and lessons from lost relationships into our present lives. This approach not only permits but encourages healthy grieving by maintaining a connection with the departed.

As a grief coach, I’ve witnessed this firsthand. One client lost her biggest supporter, a crucial presence during challenging athletic pursuits. Rather than internalizing societal pressures to “move on,” she chose to integrate her loss into daily life. By envisioning her supporter cheering her on, she found comfort and liberated herself from the expectations of others.

Grief Revisited Brings Purpose To Your Feelings

Another example is transforming grief into purposeful action. Organizations like the Scott Newman Center to prevent substance abuse were created by Pal Newman after the death of his son from a drug overdose. The AIDS memorial quilt served the purpose of raising awareness of and honoring the many who died of AIDS and were never given funerals. Remembering and memorializing lost loved ones is a natural part of grieving and can be a vital contribution to the process of healing.

Instead of labeling grief as “unresolved,” let’s embrace the concept of “revisited.” By asking ourselves what we cherish most about our lost loved ones or experiences, as often and for as long as we need to, we can transform grief into a compass guiding us toward greater self-understanding. We can lean into our grief as an opportunity to live a more meaningful and purposeful life. Grief becomes a teacher, revealing our values and priorities. When it resurfaces, we can welcome it as a complex yet valuable part of our journey. By Dr. Katie Eastman Life/Executive Coaching Organizational consulting [email protected] www.drkatieeastman.com