Guess what? There’s a reason some people have the sadness habit. Do you worry a lot? Do you feel awful when there’s no immediate reason for it? Do you consistently wake up with a feeling of unease? The sadness habit is different from depression. It’s a set of negative feelings that come up over and over and follow you around no matter what good things may be happening in your life. The sadness habit affects your mood, your productivity, and even your health.
Why do some people have the sadness habit
Believe it or not, you get something for it. Your brain is activated. When you feel sad around something. You think about it. You’re engaged around it. That sadness fuels you and…keeps you stuck. It all starts in the brain’s reward system. You wouldn’t think sadness, grief, shame, guilt would be brain rewards, but they release dopamine in the same way that healthy emotions and activities do.
Our brain reward system tells us what to do
You know the drama person who’s always looking for conflict? Feeling outraged by everything activates chemicals in the brain that give the person who loves to fight the bursts of energy that fuel their behavior. They may say they hate drama, but really they crave it and keep it happening.
Worrying is addictive in the same way. It signals your brain that you’re doing something about whatever causes you stress. Your brain releases chemicals that act as if you’re engaged in problem solving, but in fact you’re just worrying.
Your sadness habit is dopamine release
Brain reward works the same with other emotions. With sad feelings, your brain is activated along a negative track, just the way it is with any addiction. All the systems of the brain work together to influence our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. And memory plays an important part, so the most powerful memories tend to dominate our thinking.
For those of us with trauma, we tend to remember and relive the things we feel guilty about, events that wounded our pride like bullying, verbal or emotional abuse, and shame about things that happened to us. We may hate our sadness, shame, guilt, grief, wounded pride, worry, but they are releasing dopamine nonetheless.
Brain activity doesn’t have a happy filter
Your brain is like nature, which is neutral to catastrophic events and beautiful rainbows. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between healthy release of dopamine that makes you happy, and unhealthy release of dopamine that keeps you unhappy.
The cause of the sadness habit is the brain’s reward pathways not knowing the difference between unhealthy release of dopamine and healthy release of dopamine. But you know the difference. To recover from sadness, guilt, shame, worrying, grief, you can cultivate the healthy release of dopamine.