Need some stress busters for not being heard, or not being able to tell the truth? I sure do. It’s stressful when you can’t talk, express yourself, or explore issues. This happens in every area of life with other humans. Well meaning, and not so well-meaning, people may shut you up or close you down or pretend to be nice while making sure you never get your way, or even your two cents in.

Keeping silent creates stress

If you’re like me and want to maintain a peaceful environment, you may end up swallowing, or repressing, your feelings and then risk internal explosions that hurt only you. This is the stress of having to be silent when you want to speak, or not being heard when you do speak. You need a stress buster to redirect your frustration.

Reasons when speaking up is impossible

There are a thousand ways and reasons that other people prevent us from telling the truth or expressing our feelings. The consequences can be: the boss may fire us, a loved one may become verbally abusive; a friend may be dismissive or disparaging; a fight might result that could end the relationship.

  • When you anticipate someone’s negative and hurtful reactions to everything you say
  • When the person(s) on the other side of an argument or issue doesn’t want to hear your opinion or side of the story
  • When a friend, co-worker, spouse, family member, partner never fails to ask you what you want but never lets you be the decider
  • When you want to participate at work or know something is wrong but aren’t permitted to speak or share

Stress Busters to use when you have no voice

When I find myself talking to myself instead of the person who’s bothering me, I know I have a stress problem related to being silent. Here is the short list of things to do ease the stress and create solutions:

  1. When furious or hurt, change the scenery to enable you to begin redirecting your feelings and get grounded. Go outside. Take a walk. See a movie. Listen to music. Call a trusted friend.
  2. Use breathing techniques to calm down. Inhale for five counts, hold your breath for five counts, exhale for five counts. This breathing exercise slows your heart rate which in turn calms your anxiety or rage.
  3. Practical advice: Make a pro and con list of why you maintain a relationship in which you have no voice and consider what changes you can make to improve the situation. You can’t change anything if politics are driving you mad.
  4. Remind yourself that some things are out of your control. To be at peace, learn to let go of things you can’t control and work on things you can control.
  5. Redirecting to more positive feelings can also include meditation to help you find peace, refreshment and even answers on what to do next.

A great resource for learning to speak your mind is the new recovery workbook. 100 Tips For Growing Up.

100 tips for growing up
The easy tips you need for the life you want


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Leslie Glass

Leslie Glass became a recovery advocate and co-founder of Reach Out Recovery in 2011, encouraged by her daughter Lindsey who had struggled with substances as a teen and young adult. Learning how to manage the family disease of addiction with no roadmap to follow inspired the mother and daughter to create Reach Out Recovery's website to help others experiencing the same life-threatening problems. Together they produced the the 2016 ASAM Media Award winning documentary, The Secret World of Recovery, and the teen prevention documentary, The Silent Majority, distributed by American Public Television. Leslie is also the creator of Recovery Guidance, the information website for those seeking addiction and mental healthcare for professionals nationwide. In her career, Leslie has worked in advertising, publishing, and magazines as a writer of both fiction and non fiction. She is the author of 9 bestselling crime novels, featuring NYPD Dt.Sgt. April Woo. Leslie has has served as a Public Member of the Middle States Commission of Higher Education and as a Trustee of the New York City Police Foundation. For from 1990 to 2017, Leslie was the Trustee of the Leslie Glass Foundation.

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