3 Ways To Feel Good on Thanksgiving No Matter What

If Thanksgiving freaks you out for a variety of reasons, don’t fret, you can feel good on Thanksgiving even if life is not going exactly as you want it this year. Whether you are experiencing life issues, work issues, financial issues or new to recovery, let’s reframe Thanksgiving from a time where too much money is spent, forced family time can add tensions, and there are drinking pressures to a time where you can and will nurture yourself.

Here’s how. Our family traditions are meaningful, and Thanksgiving is a touchstone for family unity, even when it doesn’t exist. For my family, Thanksgiving was always the most important holiday. The religious holidays could cause strife because my family members held a wide variety of beliefs about God and religion. But, Thanksgiving can be about the food and whatever else you want it to be.

Here’s How To Feel Good On Thanksgiving

These days holidays (and politics) are more complicated for everyone. Families are scattered and often deeply hurt by separations that occur for so many reasons. Many families are estranged from loved ones. Work and living far away, military service. Schooling; and sadly the heartbreaking separations, both emotional and actual, that addiction so often brings. So, bringing out the positive wherever you can is essential. From setting times for Facetimes or calls to making special efforts to get people you love at the table–focus on who you can see and how.

Here are some of the ways to keep traditions alive

Share your Thanksgiving with others. It doesn’t matter if you gather friends from work or church or meetings or the gym, or anywhere. Sharing your table, or just being with others, can bring joy. It’s a real kindness to offer comfort to others who may also be missing a happy family as much as you do. Ps. please do it safely according to your state’s guidelines around gatherings
Remember the good times. Often we get into the habit of thinking only of what we’ve lost and how terrible that loss is. But even when the losses seem unbearable, it’s okay to celebrate the love and happiness of the past. Corny but true: Remembering happiness with an open heart can lead us there again.
Be Grateful for what is. This is the most basic, and maybe the most important, quality of recovery. When you enjoy a meal, or never miss a sunrise, or find beauty in the rain, you have something for which to be grateful. Saying thank you is the first step on the path to whatever you want to be, and wherever you want to go.
Create New Traditions! Especially is you are new in sobriety, healing or any recovery. Create new alcohol or sugar-free menus. Watch movies all day or make time to cook for, and feed, the animals.
Grieve if you need to. Sometimes we’re dealing with grief and loss at the holidays so do what you can. Don’t overwhelm yourself, find someone who can support, or check on you, and find little ways to bring yourself comfort wherever you can.
Be of service. We believe in service so we help feed people, get gifts for those who need them, etc. Find ways to serve your community over the holidays. There is always someone who has it worse than you.
Love the ones you’re with. Maybe you’re not with everyone you love but be present and warm for the people who are there.