I was a drama queen for decades. It’s a lifestyle that provided endless entertainment, drama is not actually good for your health or leads to a positive, productive life. I started thinking about drama, and my recovery from it after an enlightening podcast from UnF*ck Your Brain with Harvard-educated master coach Kara Loewentheil, J.D. where she talks about the real damage and self-sabotage that comes from being over-dramatic.
The article was helpful, and reinforcing, to find out that adding unnecessary drama to the stories we tell ourselves is truly harmful for our minds and bodies. For me, drama caused issues on many levels from social to personal, to professional, eventually disturbing my serenity and sense of self.
I want to clarify right here that drama is appropriate in some situations. What I’m talking about is adding emotions and negativity to situations that only make it worse. What we are doing over here is working on mental health and wellness to make our daily lives easier. Learning to cope in healthy ways when hurdles come up is especially important if you are a person in recovery from anything or trying to manage sobriety. While living in unnecessary drama can be comfortable and normal for many people, it is not helpful for a balanced life in recovery.
Let’s unpack.
For one, most humans don’t like being around overly dramatic people. Have you ever started feeling stressed by seeing someone turn small problems into major crises? It’s not enjoyable or soothing to be around people who can’t manage situations, whether major or minor. If you are the one causing drama, think about what you do when things start to go wrong. Do you panic, start to bring other people into it, and let your frantic energy affect everyone and everything around you? Is it necessary to tell everyone in your life about every little thing that goes wrong? Turns out, it isn’t.
I’m not judging anyone because I’ve been there and done it. But, because I found self-awareness, changed my ways, and live a less dramatic life today, I know it’s better this way. My relationships with family and friends are less stressed by my behavior and moods. I feel better in my daily life with no drama and people seem to like me more. Just saying…
If you think about drama and how dramatic people behave, it becomes clear quickly that drama is draining, often time-wasting, and almost always negative. It encourages people to stay in the problem instead of getting into a solution. It usually involves gossip and other lesser behaviors, and it is a distraction! Again, I get it. There is nothing better than wasting half the day on some “major” problem and letting obsession take over the mind. That is until you start to recover and realize drama drums up insecurity, shame, and judgment, and keeps you stuck.
Being a drama queen doesn’t feel good or serve me in a healthier, recovery life. With less drama, I have much more respect for myself and others and stay out of the lesser behaviors.
Drama isn’t just bad for your mental health and thinking, it will also manifest into physical problems. For example, I realized drama was bad when it started making me feel anxious in recovery. I used to thrive on the chaos and excitement of drama. Had you asked me if I was addicted to drama back then, I would have said no. But, hindsight is 20/20. Today, I see how the constant attention and focus on gossip, bad news, and general negativity added to feelings of depression, anxiety, and disconnection. It’s been scientifically proven that ongoing or chronic drama can increase your body’s production of cortisol. If you have consistently high levels of cortisol, it changes immune system responses and suppresses the digestive system, the reproductive system, and growth processes.
To sum it all up, for many reasons, being a drama queen can have negative effects on your mental health, physical health, and relationships. It’s also not fun if you’re a person working on recovery of any kind. The goal here is to calm down and find serenity, not hit the anxiety gas pedal with ongoing drama. Consider whether you need to chill on the drama and article coming soon on how to manage drama!
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