Don’t always try to compete – that’s not what life is all about. Constant competition is a sure cause of stress and worry. The internal monologue of someone caught up in competition generally sounds like this: “Am I doing enough? Am I ahead? What did she/he/they do? Who posted what online? Did I do anything as cool today?” Generally, toxic people try to compete with everyone; it’s a toxic relationship red flag. Don’t fall into that trap – it isn’t worth it. Here are three ways a toxic friend can try to get you into a constant competition:
1. They Try To Compete Through Social Media
Have you ever noticed that toxic person is often on social media, checking up on their friends’ posts? Sometimes, they’ll make passive aggressive comments about how their friend is looking, or where their friend is – then play it off as a joke, or brag about their experience. Or, this toxic person will post only about their vacations or when they look their absolute best. There’s nothing wrong with avoiding posting an unflattering picture of yourself, but when people live to boast about their perfections online, it can become toxic.
2. Toxic People Will Say Anything To Drag You Down
That good mood you were in after landing that job/getting all A’s/hearing good news? These toxic people will try anything to either dismiss the news as inadequate compared to their successes. They can’t stand to hear about someone else achieving something either without them, or while they haven’t had any achievements to brag about in a while.
3. Toxic People Try To Compete Through Devaluing Your Feelings
Have you been through a loss of someone important in your life and had a “friend” devalue your feelings because they’ve gone through a similar situation that just happens to be 10 times worse? Or, maybe you’re having a hard time and your toxic partner blows off your feelings because he, too, had a “bad day.” You begin to realize that this toxic person often had “bad days” when you do – and they’re always that much worse off. Sure – sometimes two people have bad days and one is feeling worse than the other. But when this happens more often than not, consider this a form of competition.