Narcissists use projection to confuse and manipulate you
Narcissists can’t accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong. So if something isn’t working, and they want control over the situation, they literally put their feelings on you. So it doesn’t matter what you really think or what you’ve done, narcissists will turn whatever you say or think or do against you.
Why are narcissists so negative and hurtful
It’s a form of control and manipulation. Narcissists can’t let other people be independent because it challenges them, makes life inconvenient, and uncomfortable, so they do everything they can to gain control. One powerful technique is projection. Since narcissists live in fantasy worlds, they refuse to see their own faults and failures, which means the blame that would usually be placed on them is projected onto their victims. When narcissists use projection, it’s just another way to manipulate their targets.
What Is Projection?
We all use projection in one way or another. For example, let’s say you’re in a great mood, but your friend isn’t. You continue to smile and maintain your positive mood, projecting it onto your friend. Or, another form of projection could be if your partner is in a bad mood, sees that you’re smiling and happy, and they start yelling at you for being cheerful. Your partner is then projecting their poor attitude onto you.
With narcissists, they project any blame you may place on them, back on to you. If they’re in a bad mood, they’ll deflect the accusation and blame you for their mood – perhaps they’ll say something along the lines of, “I’m in a bad mood? You’re the one in a bad mood. You just can’t see past your own bad attitude.”
How Narcissists Use Projection And What You Can Do
1. Narcissists Use Projection To “Call You Out”
Usually, narcissists will use this tactic to either get you to do something they know you’ll be hesitant about, to attack you, or both. They’ll call you out, for example, not having tea ready for them after a long day at work – even though you worked the same hours. This usually entails guilt-tripping. If that doesn’t work, they’ll escalate to verbally attacking you.
Dealing with projection and blame: It’s hard not to fall for this kind of malignant narcissism. You’ve probably been around your narcissist long enough to recognize a trap when you hear him/her getting started. It’s just a way to assert power manipulate your feelings and actions. Can you step it down or take a time out.
2. Narcissists Mimic Emotions
Narcissists have the emotional range of a thimble. But they’re intelligent. They know how important emotional displays are to others and they know how to mimic them to manipulate their victims. Don’t let those crocodile tears fool you. They’ll pretend to understand your feelings or want to help you. It’s not true.
What you can do: You’re onto them now, right? Be aware. Sooner or later, you will find ways to evade, and even escape.
3. Narcissists Will Attack Your Personality
No one likes to be verbally attacked – but when the question of your personality and character are brought into the mix, you know the narcissist means business. It’s getting personal. This is usually done for revenge.
What you can do: This is always designed to make you defensive and need to explain yourself. You don’t have to. Remember that narcissists are toxic people and almost always engage in toxic behavior and abusive relationships. They will lie and say anything to manipulate those around them.
4. Narcissists Use Projection To Play The Victim
Narcissistic projection makes you feel sorry for him. It’s never his or her fault that terrible things happen. You can’t blame a victim – right? They’re the ones who were wronged. The narcissists believes they’re perfect, so clearly anything wrong in their relationships isn’t because of their behavior. They love to be the victim. On top of projecting blame onto someone else, they also grab the spotlight while others help them.
Dealing with narcissistic projection of victimhood. If you’re an empath, pay special attention to the kind of people you choose to help. Look for the lies and gaps in a narcissist’s story. Empaths and narcissists tend to be attracted to each other, and empaths are always the losers.
5. Narcissists Know When To Drop The Act
When narcissists know they have their target-turned-victim under their thumbs, they drop their charming acts. And quickly. This allows narcissists to assert dominance and really display their narcissistic traits. At this point, the victim will have a last, slight chance to escape and expose a narcissist before having to deal with even greater damage if choosing to stay in the abusive relationship.
What you can do: If you catch on to this final stage, don’t expect an easy escape. Narcissists don’t like to admit defeat and will do anything to keep their victims under their control. They’re manipulation experts. Have steps set up to help yourself get away to safety.
**If you are in an abusive relationship or someone you know is, call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-723. For more information, click here.
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