How To Be Sober And Single And Merry

Sober And Single Is Not A Death Sentence

Are you sober and single, and facing holiday celebrations? Are you dreading events because of your sobriety and singleness? It’s totally understandable because this is the time of year that alcohol and partying are thrust into the spotlight. You’re tempted by holiday drinks and parties where people “let loose.” Then, there’s the agony of being alone (if you don’t want to be) and having that be talked about by family and friends. It’s all stressful. It can make you feel bad about yourself and think picking up a drink is a good idea. Well, it’s not and you shouldn’t. Learning to love the holidays sober and single is not as hard as you may think. It requires some new ideas, new habits, and a little mindshift and practice. You can do it.

Sober And Single When Your Family/Friends/Work Colleagues Drink Or Party

Let’s acknowledge that when your family, friends or work colleagues are partying away and you are not anymore, there can be some discomfort. You don’t have to pretend that isn’t uncomfortable. But, what you need to keep close to you heart and mind is why you made the decision to get sober and know that is what’s best for your life. Same goes for the personal life. If you recently left a relationship, there were reasons and even though the holidays can make us feel even more alone, it’s not the time to rekindle an unhealthy (or worse toxic) romantic relationship. We’re not over here saying this isn’t a tough few weeks for many, but we are saying it goes a lot better when you take care of yourself. So, here’s how…

14 ways to be safe and happy when you’re single and sober

Create a sobriety plan. Write yourself a letter telling yourself why you want to stay sober. You can journal about the past. You can remind yourself of the wreckage. You can talk about the benefits of your life in recovery. Just get it out — what you need to do to be all right, right now.
Stay connected with your sponsor, sober friend, or someone who can be there for you when you’re in a predicament. .
Meditate. If you are new to it, try online guided meditations, apps, or sound baths. Even a few minutes of measured breathing can create a calm space in your head.
Help someone else who is alone. When you reach out to someone else who is alone or struggling, there is a multiplier effect. You feel better and so does the person(s) you touch. Helping is the most powerful tool for recovery and personal growth.
Enjoy seasonal things–winter nature, holiday movies, specialty foods, decorations, etc.
Bring your own beverages if you are attending anything where you’re not sure you can get a zero proof drink. You can even bring a fancy glass for your own mock cocktail. I do.
Have a person you can call if you feel unsafe. This can be a sponsor, or sober friend. You can feel unsafe at family parties, too. God knows people continue to think you can have just one. Safety is feeling okay, not threatened, not teased or encouraged to drink.
Opt out of anything that is only about drinking. Have a good excuse ready to go and plans for yourself that nurture you instead of a drinking party. Think hot yoga, movie night, whatever floats your boat.
Write a gratitude list every day for 30 days.
Read a new recovery book to start the year off right.
Avoid family members who have hurt you! You don’t have to be with anyone who causes you pain.
Celebrate your sobriety with a gift to yourself.
Volunteer anywhere. Helping others help you.
Start a new holiday tradition.