Here’s the hard truth–you may not like your mom or daughter but there may be lots you don’t know that has affected the dynamic. Take it from someone who wrote the book and has done the work that it’s easier to blame someone else or point the finger at the things you don’t like about your mom or daughter than do the work to learn why and what to do it about it. Once I learned who my mom is and what she’s been through in her life, I felt differently about her.
Once I did the work to understand myself and my part in our dysfunction, I had a totally altered perception of what happened between us. Just yelling at someone won’t fix things. Stepping back to learn about yourself and them will fix the relationship. Here’s why it matters.
Healing a relationship like the mother-daughter relationship is not a small thing. If you are like me, and struggled with romantic relationships, working for the same rotten people over and over, finding yourself in friendships or relationships that don’t serve you over and over you know what I am talking about. You have been imprinted into having bad relationships because this really important one didn’t go well. But, you can fix it, and if you do, here are the benefits you will gain.
Unresolved pain often gets passed down. If a mother and daughter don’t heal, patterns of dysfunction—whether emotional neglect, criticism, abandonment, or control—can unconsciously repeat in future relationships and even with the next generation. Healing stops the cycle. Aren’t you ready to stop having the same bad relationships over and over and passing that down?
Carrying resentment, regret, or pain from a fractured mother-daughter relationship can weigh heavily on the heart. Reconciliation—whether it leads to full restoration or simply mutual understanding—allows both to move forward without the burden of unresolved emotions. Life is hard without your mom or daughter, isn’t it? We know it. For us, it’s more peaceful on this side.
A daughter often shapes her sense of self from her mother’s words, actions, and love. Likewise, a mother’s sense of fulfillment is often tied to her relationship with her children. When there is healing, both can reclaim their confidence, self-worth, and emotional security. This isn’t true for everyone but it does affect many.
When a mother and daughter work through their differences, they set a powerful example of love, forgiveness, and healthy conflict resolution. This helps each of them cultivate healthier relationships outside of their own bond. We think setting an example for the family and other families is important.
No relationship is guaranteed forever. Many daughters and mothers live with regret when one passes before healing takes place. Reconciliation is not about erasing the past but about choosing to move forward with love and understanding while time allows.
Healing doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen—it means both mother and daughter are willing to acknowledge the pain, take responsibility where needed, and grow into better versions of themselves. It’s a journey, but one that brings depth, wisdom, and profound emotional strength.
These are just a few of the reasons self-discover is so important but what you think is what matters! Self-Discovery is chapter one of my book, The Mother-Daughter Relationship Makeover. Get a FREE Download to learn more.
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