Let’s begin with the reality that getting what you want requires more than wishing, hoping, and praying. People say that recovery operates by some universal law. Just when you become ready for that something you desperately need, it shows up. Readiness and being able to redefine what you want are an important components to moving forward in recovery. Here are six steps to achieving a better you and a better future.
Be brutally honest with yourself. Start right where you are. Are you an angry and judgmental person and want to change that? Start by admitting that you are angry. You can’t fix what you are in denial about. It is the starting gate and not a point of shame.
Get it on paper. Describe what you are feeling and the situation that is triggering your responses. Acknowledge what you were thinking at the time. I was angry, sad, mad glad, etc. Make journaling convenient so you will be consistent. You will find journaling to be quite cathartic and revealing. It might be your best mentor.
Are you always reacting to one drama to another? Are you creating drama by overreacting to every little thing? Over reacting to a perceived emergency is like having our brains hijacked. Do it enough and it becomes a lifestyle of overdramatizing and using our D.O.C.’s to soothe our psyche. When you feel yourself spinning into a frenzy, stop. Use your energy to step and really think about what’s happening and how you want to act. You can become more intentional with your thoughts and behavior. This is what makes us all powerful as humans. We have the authority to observe, think, and respond with our best foot forward.
We heal in communities. Find a sponsor, a healing group, a recovery coach, something or everything. Show up and listen. Learn who you can trust with what you are dealing with. Show humility and ask for help. Choose consistency and accountability. We have already proven we can’t do it alone nor were we meant to be isolated. We aren’t designed to be self-sufficient islands so be intentional about building a positive and affirming group that you are active in.
We will always return to and act out of our dominant beliefs. We don’t have to live with what others have handed to us. We have the ability to reshape heart held principles and rebuild our core identity. Create a list of positive affirmations and rehearse them daily. This is a gift we can speak over our lives. My good friend calls this his “pre-flight” list. Every pilot has a check list they go through before lift-off. This is how we can start our days. Rehearsing our intrinsic value as human beings.
It is in taking that first step that the power to accomplish, create, sustain will meet us. This is the same principle as when you are ready what you need will show up. But you have to take the action. Accomplishment of goals does not meet us while we sit pondering our next move feeling apprehensive. Accept the risk and take the steps to become your very best.
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