The Body Remembers The Trauma

The Body Remembers: Physical Illnesses Tied to Unresolved Mother-Daughter Conflict

Trust me when I say, the body remembers what happened in the past whether you want it to or not. I needed spinal surgery when I was 33. I do have degenerative disc disease but I also held a lot of trauma in my body, which I didn’t believe back then. The tough reality is that emotional pain doesn’t just live in the mind. It lives in the body. When a mother-daughter relationship is filled with conflict, neglect, or criticism, the stress doesn’t fade with time — it embeds itself in the nervous system. Over years, this constant emotional strain can quietly erode physical health.

The Body Remembers With Chronic Stress

Unresolved mother-daughter trauma often creates a state of chronic stress. The body is wired to respond to conflict as danger, flooding with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. In small doses, this is survivable. But when the conflict is ongoing — criticism at every turn, walking on eggshells, never feeling good enough — the body never gets a chance to reset. It stays on high alert, and that has consequences. Many daughters grow up to be hypervigilant, which is OK in some scenarios, but unchecked running through your life? It’s not good. I know from experience.

Common physical effects include:

Autoimmune conditions: Stress dysregulates the immune system, leading the body to attack itself. Many women struggling with mother-daughter trauma report illnesses like lupus, Hashimoto’s, or rheumatoid arthritis.
Digestive problems: Anxiety and repressed emotions disrupt the gut, leading to IBS, ulcers, or chronic stomach pain.
Migraines and chronic pain: Emotional tension often translates into muscle tightness, headaches, or unexplained body pain.
Heart disease and hypertension: The constant “fight or flight” response keeps blood pressure elevated and strains the cardiovascular system.

The Body Remembers It All Ongoing

Even when the conflict is years in the past, the body still remembers. A single phone call from a critical mother, or a memory triggered by a family gathering, can send the nervous system spiraling back into survival mode. The pain isn’t imagined — it’s physiological. Can you think of situations where you experienced that heat rising?

I’ve been in recovery from many things for a while and the part I like most about how I recovered is I don’t react. I have the pause, I have the redirect. I’m not codependent. My mom doesn’t drive me crazy, I’m able to restrain myself in relationships, and I don’t yell anymore. It’s an improved life for me.

The Body Remembers But Can Be Rewired

But here’s the hopeful truth about how the body remembers: just as the body stores trauma, it can also store healing. Practices like breathwork, mindfulness, movement, journaling, and compassionate self-talk can begin to re-regulate the nervous system. Boundaries, too, are medicine for the body — creating safety by protecting against old patterns of harm.

That’s why I created The Mother-Daughter Relationship Makeover Workbook for Lasting Change. It doesn’t just help you talk about the conflict — it gives you practical tools to work through it. With exercises designed to uncover hidden stress patterns, journal prompts to release suppressed feelings, and step-by-step scripts for creating healthier communication, the workbook supports not just your emotional healing but your physical well-being too.

Because when you heal the mother-daughter bond — or at least your response to it — your body finally has permission to rest. And in that rest, true health begins to grow.

ORDER IT ON PRESALE TODAY!