Are you triggered by the news? If you’re glued to the news and horrified by what you see, you are not alone. We’re all overwhelmed by Covid information that may or may not be correct, but is frustrating and frightening us. This is especially true for those who have lost loved ones.
Here’s a self care article from the Huffington Post that can help with the stress and anger you are feeling.
For those who’ve struggled with or lost someone to COVID-19, watching the new unfold can be incredibly triggering and bring on intense feelings of anger, frustration and pain. Here are a few ways to cope if the news cycle is reigniting your grief:
The first thing to do is accept that what you’re feeling is completely normal, said Natalia Skritskaya, a clinical psychologist and researcher with the Center for Complicated Grief at New York’s Columbia University.
Fighting an infectious disease or losing a loved one to it is very painful and tragic events at any point. But the emotional impact can be magnified during the pandemic due to the restrictions and quarantine guidelines keeping people apart. Throw Trump’s recent conduct into the mix and things can feel downright unfair and frustrating.
Recognize that whatever you’re feeling — be it anger, a sense of injustice, or confusion — is a natural human reaction to a tough situation.
Self-compassion is a must right now, according to Skritskaya. Be gentle and understanding with yourself as you work through and heal from any tragedies the pandemic has brought your way.
“Try to treat yourself as you would treat a good friend,” Skritskaya said. Observe your feelings with mindfulness and patience. Engage in activities that bring you joy.
If you get caught up in certain thoughts or with news stories that are agitating you, ask yourself: Is focusing on this helping me heal or is it only causing more pain and misery? Allow and acknowledge these feelings, then question how helpful they are.
“If those thoughts are not helping you, then you can learn to turn your attention away from them,” said Mary-Frances O’Connor, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona who specializes in grief.
Brittany LeMonda, a senior neuropsychologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York, suggested cutting back on media and social media.
Research has found that media consumption during the pandemic has directly affected people’s stress and anxiety levels. Too much of it can be overwhelming and trigger more negative emotions than positive ones.
“Try to take some breaks from inundating with the media. We just have it at our fingertips and it can really be dangerous to have so much access 24/7, so really take some time to unplug,” LeMonda said.
If it’s too difficult to look away, try deleting the apps from your phone or turning off the notifications.
People don’t grieve well when they’re on their own, Skritskaya said. Coping with the loss of a loved one and the grief that follows is an extremely isolating and lonely experience ― even more so during a pandemic in which so many are physically distancing and unable to see family and friends due to their health risks.
Grief is best managed when we can share our stories and struggles with others. Skritskaya recommended finding a supportive person, perhaps a friend or family member, to open up to about how you feel. Talking about what’s bothering you with a confidant can make sadness, anger, and pain feel a little less intense, research shows.
O’Connor said channeling that energy into meaningful action can help you cope.
“This can mean helping others who are also hurting, or it can mean standing up and using our voice where we see injustice,” O’Connor said.. Engage with civic organizations and in collective action, volunteer, contribute to political campaigns or issues, and make a plan to vote.
So much of what’s been happening lately has been completely out of our control.“ The best advice I have is to really focus on what is in our control. We can control our behavior, our actions, our reactions,” LeMonda said.
Instead of focusing on what you could have done differently, think about all the things you’ve been able to do for yourself or your loved ones. If it helps, write down a list of the items you have a say in right now. And remember: The precautions you may have had to take for your safety were for good reason.
“With grief, we try to help people think about what they can change and what they cannot change and not spend a lot of energy or misdirect their energy into something that they cannot change and instead focus on things that they could,” Skritskaya said.
Recognize that while you may feel completely isolated in your experience, you’re not. Other people may not fully understand what you’re going through, but they do care. And everyone is struggling with the pandemic in one way or another.
Data suggests that for every person who dies of COVID-19, they leave behind nine family members. That means nearly 2 million people theoretically have experienced a death of a close relative due to the disease, O’Connor said. If it helps, look for virtual support groups with people going through the same thing or reach out to a mental health professional.
There is no ignoring the widespread devastation and pain this virus has inflicted on so many. “People across the globe are affected, everybody knows what this is and their lives are limited or upended by this event,” Skritskaya said. “The whole of humankind is trying to grapple with this virus.”
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