Every single relationship is difficult. All of them! But, in some, partners learn to work together and make things better. In some, they can’t and the relationship needs to end. There is no shame in finding yourself in a bad relationship. But, if you’re in a bad relationship, you know how bad it can feel. How alone you can feel and how much you can question yourself and your own judgment.
See, it’s easy to fall for the wrong person. Especially if they’re charming, or have “swept you off your feet.” Truth be told, many people who at first can seem incredibly charming and interested can end up being the worst kinds of narcissists. One of my mentors used to say to me, “Fast on, fast off,” when it comes to relationships. To this day, I’ve found that advice to be true.
But, sometimes we fall for the wrong person. Maybe the timing is off, or you realize you want different things, maybe you end up tolerating bad behavior, or being the instigator of bad behavior because you’re bored. Whatever the case, if you see the signs of a toxic relationship, maybe it’s time to rethink your current partner.
Maybe you’re trying to fit into what you think he/she/they will like, or maybe you’re hiding part of your life from them. Whatever the case, take a look at that and consider why you have a double life.
Calling all codependents and submissives!! Take it from one who knows, we will attract controlling people into our lives over and over and over. This is a pattern that needs to be explored if you constantly find yourself being told what to do by someone who controls who you see, where you go, what you eat, etc.
As my friend used to say to me, “save the drama for your mama!” There is no reason to bring the hysterics home. Find a friend, relative, or professional if you’re the drama queen. If you’re with a drama queen and it drives you crazy, find a way out or to help your partner calm down.
Trust is imperative for a healthy relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, what’s the point? They’ll end up bringing more pain than happiness. If you wonder where they are? What are they up to? Who they’re with? These are all things to be concerned about. Money is another issue where trust is mandatory in relationships. You should be able to trust your partner with your debit card.
Often those are not jokes and they can cut to the core. If you find yourself being picked on or picking on someone else, shut that down right now. It’s not OK to take other people’s inventory and it’s not OK for anyone to take yours. Find your inner power and ask for that to stop.
Every relationship is going to have ups and downs when it comes to the bedroom. But, you should feel satisfied in your physical relationship. If you think your partner has lost interest in you or you’ve lost interest in your partner, that maybe something to talk about. Maybe there’s something to salvage and hopefully, there is, but better to get clear on what’s going on then feel unsatisfied all the time.
When it comes to writing, I can communicate anything. When it comes to in-person confrontation, I turn into a deer in headlights. I’ve had to practice how to communicate in my relationships. This is where sponsorship, mentorship, or therapy is helpful. I’ve often had professionals help me find the words and then a good time to share them. If you can’t tell your partner how you feel, something is very wrong.
Both of these are signs of a bad relationship. You should not be walking around terrified of upsetting a partner. You want a partner who will support you not make you anxious. Passive aggressive behavior just sucks. Don’t stand for it.
Looking for resources? Check here
Setting Healthy Boundaries In Relationships
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Unrequited Love When Family Members Dislike You
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