We’ve all been there but do you know the signs of a bad relationship?

It’s easy to fall for the wrong person. Especially if they’re charming, or have “swept you off your feet.” Truth be told, many people who at first can seem incredibly charming and interested can end up being the worst kinds of narcissists. One of my mentors used to say to me, “Fast on, fast off,” when it comes to relationships. To this day, I’ve found that advice to be true. But, sometimes we fall for the wrong person. Maybe the timing is off, or you realize you want different things, maybe you end up tolerating bad behavior, or being the instigator of bad behavior because you’re bored. Whatever the case, if you see the signs of a bad relationship in your relationship, maybe it’s time to rethink your current partner.

Biggest signs of a bad relationship

You feel the need to act differently around your partner

Maybe you’re trying to fit into what you think he/she/they will like, or maybe you’re hiding part of your life from them. Whatever the case, take a look at that and consider why you have a double life.

Your partner is too controlling

Calling all codependents and submissives!! Take it from one who knows, we will attract controlling people into our lives over and over and over. This is a pattern that needs to be explored if you constantly find yourself being told what to do by someone who controls who you see, where you go, what you eat, etc.

There’s too much drama

As my friend used to say to me, “save the drama for your mama!” There is no reason to bring the hysterics home. Find a friend, relative, or professional if you’re the drama queen. If you’re with a drama queen and it drives you crazy, find a way out or to help your partner calm down.

You don’t trust them

Trust is imperative for a healthy relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, what’s the point? They’ll end up bringing more pain than happiness. If you wonder where they are? What are they up to? Who they’re with? These are all things to be concerned about. Money is another issue where trust is mandatory in relationships. You should be able to trust your partner with your debit card.

Nitpicking/jokes that end with, “I’m only joking”

Often those are not jokes and they can cut to the core. If you find yourself being picked on or picking on someone else, shut that down right now. It’s not OK to take other people’s inventory and it’s not OK for anyone to take yours. Find your inner power and ask for that to stop.

Your physical life is important

Every relationship is going to have ups and downs when it comes to the bedroom. But, you should feel satisfied in your physical relationship. If you think your partner has lost interest in you or you’ve lost interest in your partner, that maybe something to talk about. Maybe there’s something to salvage and hopefully, there is, but better to get clear on what’s going on then feel unsatisfied all the time.

Communication is key

When it comes to writing, I can communicate anything. When it comes to in-person confrontation, I turn into a deer in headlights. I’ve had to practice how to communicate in my relationships. This is where sponsorship, mentorship, or therapy is helpful. I’ve often had professionals help me find the words and then a good time to share them. If you can’t tell your partner how you feel, something is very wrong.

Walking on eggshells or passive-aggressive behavior

Both of these are signs of a bad relationship. You should not be walking around terrified of upsetting a partner. You want a partner who will support you not make you anxious. Passive aggressive behavior just sucks. Don’t stand for it.

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Lindsey Glass

Lindsey Glass is the co-founder of Reach Out Recovery. Her 2016 ASAM Media Award winning documentary, The Secret World Of Recovery, has helped to lift the stigma from addiction and recovery and is used in recovery programs nationwide to show what life is like on the other side of addiction. Lindsey's teen prevention documentary, The Silent Majority, was distributed to PBS stations nationwide by American Public Television in 2014-15. Lindsey has written dozens of popular articles on recovery. She is a recovery advocate and frequent keynote speaker. Lindsey is the author of 100 Tips for Growing Up, My 20 Years of Recovery, 2019. Before focusing on recovery, Lindsey was a TV and screenwriter. She has worked in publishing, web development, and marketing.

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