Have you ever noticed that you have mood habits? When you wake up, you have certain feelings that may repeat themselves through the day? Sometimes you’re happy and serene. Or you may be agitated from the get-go. Then there are those triggers of past trauma that immediately remind you of catastrophic events, and the sad feelings keep returning. You’re crazed by politics and everything that’s going wrong in the world. There’s plenty to worry about. Especially right now.
I used to refer to my “autoreset” and what that meant was my mood habit was always returning to a kind of anxious, unhappy state as a normal. But, as the years passed, I learned many techniques to help manage my mood and change my reset to a more even-keeled place.
Oh, and there’s more. You always have a list of things in your head that you feel you have to do and stay focused on until the list of tasks is completed. You’re listless and can’t get moving, and that feeling stays with you all day. Your mood habits tell a lot about you. In fact, you mood habits can make you a success or…not so much. Are you paying attention. You don’t have control over what’s happening in the world, but you do have control over your moods and can turn them around.
It may seem hard to believe that, like athletes create muscle memory that makes them excel, all of us have emotional memory we have cultivated that helps or hinders us every day. In fact, our feelings about ourselves, our situation, and other people are often ingrained habits we’ve learned over time. We repeat the feelings every day because we are used to them. Even if they make us miserable.
No one wants to wake up feeling mad, sad, bad, useless, scared, defeated. But those feelings are our excuses. Where do those feelings come from and do we have to keep them? The feelings come from our experiences as children, as teens, young adults, and the way other people have treated us in many situations. If your parent has told you you’re no good, you’re not going to grow up feeling good. Or if you experienced problems with math or sports or relationships, you may decide you’re really and truly no good. Then you may be stuck in those feelings until something changes it.
Bi polar disorder, clinical depression, substance use, food disorders and other mental health problems, however, are not bad habits that can be changed by positive thinking. That is a myth. Treatment is necessary. Get a mental health check up and get help if you need it. And don’t be mad at yourself because your brain doesn’t always do what you want it to do.
We often hear in recovery that feelings are not reality. Resentments, rage, disappointments, unhappiness and discontent are all feelings that you have to nurture to sustain. You have to work at unhappiness to be unhappy. If you stop nurturing and feeding negative feelings, they can go away, or at least lessen. Truly. And that is a great goal. But it takes practice and you really have to want it. If you want to feel better and lift your mood, the best thing to do is to substitute a whole different palette of feelings. Think of it like changing your thought diet.
There may be many reasons for feeling unhappy or low, or resentful, or defeated or sad. There are just as many reasons to be happy, contented, and grateful no matter what your situation. If you start listing and repeating to yourself what makes you happy, what you’re grateful about, you can lose the negativity over time.
Try happy thinking and happy talking, and maybe your dreams will come true. Here’s another thing to do to change your mood habits. Put on the music and sing. Even better put on the music and dance.
Journaling is another way to change your mood, try writing about what makes you happen. Check out 100 Tips For Growing Up for easy self help at any age.
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