have you ever heard the phrase, “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?” Personally, I want to be happy, so learning how to stop an argument with someone is one of the best things you can do. If you have people in your life who are confrontational, and you are not, life can get super uncomfortable. But, don’t lose hope because there are some easy tips and tricks that will help.
One of the most stressful things in life is having conflicts and arguments with people. It causes anxiety and puts a burden on the relationship. When we are confined or have other stressors on the relationship, it’s even worse. However, there are ways to stop the fight before it even starts. Being able to de-escalate a situation, or hit pause on yourself, are valuable skills. These are also skills that help you in every area of life but are particularly important for families. I come from a dysfunctional family and we played the blame game and tempers were heated all the time. In adulthood, I quickly realized I needed some new tools for conflict resolution.
Knowing ways to stop conflict will help in these tense times, and at all times. These are my go-to conflict avoidance or resolution suggestions.
Remember, when someone starts to get upset, they’re usually coming from a place where they feel they aren’t being heard. That brings us to our first strategy for how to stop an argument.
Most people want to be heard and understood. Take the time to listen to what they are saying. Then process it and respond when you have something productive to say. This is not the time for pointing fingers or using the blame or shame game. It won’t get you the result you want.
When situations are beginning to escalate, use phrases like, “Yes, I hear you…,” and, “You may be right, let’s see what happens…” These will help the other person feel respected and know you’re open to another possibility. You want to be in the business of diffusing situations, not making them worse.
For the love of God, don’t lose your temper. Once one person goes off the deep end, the natural response is to escalate. Do your best to stay calm and stop the conflict from escalating. If you feel that heat rise, step outside the room or home immediately. Pause. Pause again. Call someone if you have to. Ask yourself, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy for the next few weeks or months?
If someone is telling you that you’ve done something that offends them or hurts their feelings, you should apologize. Maybe you didn’t mean to hurt them, but that’s not the point. We’re trying to get along with other people here. This is not the time to spend hours on talking points to defend your actions. Say sorry and stop the pain.
If you find yourself in a situation where tempers are escalating and it’s getting out of control, ask for a truce. We’re in a time of war right now. It’s better if it’s us against them. You may not be having an easy time with someone in the home or at work, but the virus enemy outside is the bigger problem. Find a way to raise the white flag and agree to disagree.
These are just a few tips on how to stop an argument but give them a try and see how they work for you! Want more? Check out my book 100 Tips For Growing Up.
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