Boundary-Setting Scripts For Family Members

Quick Boundary-Setting Scripts

Boundary-Setting Scripts are a tool that will work with any family member or relationship! We know all too well how hard it can be to keep your boundaries with the people you love. Maybe you feel guilty, maybe they beg, maybe you’re worried they won’t be OK. It’s not easy to know what to do and what to say. That’s why we have some ideas to help set you up for success.

Here are some helpful Boundary-setting scripts

1. With someone who’s drinking or using

“I love you, but I won’t argue with you when you’ve been drinking. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

2. With a difficult or narcissistic family member

“I’m not going to discuss this right now. If you keep pushing, I’ll leave the conversation.”

3. When a parent criticizes your appearance or choices

“I know you care, but comments like that don’t help me. Please don’t bring it up again.”

4. With a child trying to manipulate

“I understand you’re upset, but my decision stands. This isn’t up for negotiation.”

5. With someone raising their voice

“I’ll come back when we can talk calmly. Right now I’m stepping away.”

6. With guilt trips

“I hear that you’re disappointed, but I’m making the decision that’s healthiest for me.”

7. With over-involvement or prying

“I appreciate your concern, but that’s private. Please respect my boundaries.”

8. With constant negativity

“I want to spend time with you, but if the conversation stays this negative, I’ll need to take a break.”

Boundary-Setting Scripts: How to Teach Listeners to Use Them

Keep it short. Boundaries don’t need long explanations.
Stay calm. Firm but kind—tone is everything.
Repeat if needed. Broken record technique: same phrase, no escalation.
Follow through. A boundary without action is just a wish.

Check out our other articles on boundaries and listen to our radio show!

Tips To Implement Healthy Boundaries

Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Establishing Boundaries During Addiction Treatment

CHECK OUT MY NEW RADIO SHOW OVERCOMING FAMILY: Episode 2 is Overcoming Parents and we talk all about the damage caused by enmeshment with parents and what to do about it!