How are you treated? Sometimes we have someone in our life who doesn’t treat us well and it can be very upsetting and bad for our self-esteem. We can’t dictate how others treat us, but we can create boundaries to protect ourselves. If someone treats us badly, it’s our responsibility to establish healthy boundaries to keep us safe.
Look at how you’re treated
If someone in your life is making you feel bad, look at how they treat you to decide if this is someone who needs boundaries. Do they regularly make you feel uncomfortable or bad about yourself? Do they spread negativity and hate? Do they ask you to do things you don’t want to do? All of these issues can be prevented, or managed, with new guidelines for the relationship.
Decide what boundaries you need
What’s the behavior that is making you uncomfortable? Does someone keep you on the phone too long complaining about things? Is face-to-face time too challenging with this person? You can decide how to establish boundaries based on the issue. If it’s a phone issue, don’t answer or after ten minutes explain you have to get on a work or family call. If you don’t want to see this person, politely decline invitations saying it’s a busy time. There are plenty of ways to detach with love and not make someone else feel bad if you need space.
Get support from people who understand
If you enjoy support groups, this may be a time to look for one like al-anon that really focusing on healthy relationships with difficult people. If that isn’t an option for you, talk to friends or family who will understand and help support you in the right ways. Don’t call people who will challenge the healthy changes you’re trying to make.
