Relationship advice will help you avoid arguments and abuse in the pandemic

Everyone in a relationship could use some relationship advice right now, especially if you’re working at home. Domestic violence is a a real health issue. The CDC says that 20 people are abused every minute, and offers prevention advice. Being together all the time means managing tensions is more important now than ever.

We are currently in uncharted territory. No one expected a pandemic or is prepared for living, working, and raising a family from home when there is fear of illness and job insecurity. However, this new normal could be with us for a while so it’s best to learn how to cope and keep the peace. I’ve listed the biggest issues we keep hearing about below along with a few suggestions for solution.

First be safe

If you or one of your family members is in an unsafe relationship, greater precautions are needed. Emotional abuse is an unwelcome member of every family experiencing substance abuse disorder. And substance use is also on the rise in the pandemic. Did you know there are 27 million adult children of parents with Alcohol or Substance Use Disorders in the United States? And there are some 6 million children under the age of 18 living in homes where there is an alcohol or substance use problem. Yet, we don’t always acknowledge and cope effectively, which leads us to feel hopeless and helpless. If you are experiencing any of the above mentioned please tell your friends and relatives and seek help. Al-anon can get you started.

Relationship advice for working from home when you’re not alone

This is probably one of the biggest issues for people who don’t live alone. Suddenly we are trying to conduct business with dogs barking, doorbells ringing, children needing things, AND another person who needs space and quiet to work. It can get tricky! Here are three good solutions for this one.

  • If you are low on space, create one quiet working location and share it using a schedule.
  • Create “quiet hours” where everyone in the house needs to be working quietly.
  • Keep it moving. Mix up where you are working throughout the day to keep distractions low and focus centered.

Dependent care obligations

Whether it’s human, furry, fluffy, or feathered, creatures we create or own are a big responsibility! Many families are not figuring out the homeschooling situation while also working themselves. This is STRESSFUL. If you have a partner, this is the time to create a schedule to share the work. If you need help and have the mean, hire someone to support you. Whether it’s a dog walk, or a couple hours of childcare, getting some cupport is crucial. If that’s not possible, then it’s critical to create a schedule that incorporates the dependents needs AND yours! Don’t forget about your own work or self care.

The schedule is really important. If you or your partner cannot keep to a schedule; however, this shouldn’t become a relationship issue. Not everybody is good at managing time. If you get involved with your work or a business call gets in the way, you may be late. The best relationship advice is be flexible and go with the flow.

Relationship advice to keep romance going

There’s nothing less sexy than spending 24/7 with your partner under stressful conditions. Few of us are able to schedule a date night and even if we can, there’s nowhere to go in some states! However, relationships need to be nurtured. Especially now. So, get creative.

  • Do nice things Here is an example: My friend Alex was having a bad day and her fiance surprised her with her favorite dinner delivered to the house.
  • You can take a walk or have a little picnic with your partner.
  • Board games and puzzles can relieve the boredom. Immerse yourself in something new. Try cooking together.
  • Make time to have pleasant experiences together such as an unplanned kiss.
  • Have someone watch the kids or animals for a couple hours and just relax together.

What to do about arguing

It’s almost impossible not to have squabbling in the house under current conditions. We’re all grumpy and snapping from time to time, and it’s easy to point the irritability at whoever is closest. But is arguing your habit? That’s something to think about. But if it’s just the difficult situation, try and remember to take into account how your partner is feeling. Here are some tips for easing the tension and getting out of the habit of arguing about every little thing, which can escalate into rage and even violence.

  • You don’t always have to have the last word.
  • Pick and choose your battles. Some things are not worth arguing about.
  • Listen instead of arguing. Your partner may have something important to say.
  • Be mindful of how your behavior is affecting everyone else.
  • Put yourself in their shoes.
  • Take a break. Go into the other room.
  • Don’t add drugs and alcohol into the mix.
  • Be compassionate. Everyone is suffering.
  • Try ending an argument by saying “You may be right.”
  • Take a moment before you react.
  • Don’t argue in front of your children and animals.

Remember this too will pass, and how do you want to be when it’s over? Happy together, we hope.

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Lindsey Glass

Lindsey Glass is the co-founder of Reach Out Recovery. Her 2016 ASAM Media Award winning documentary, The Secret World Of Recovery, has helped to lift the stigma from addiction and recovery and is used in recovery programs nationwide to show what life is like on the other side of addiction. Lindsey's teen prevention documentary, The Silent Majority, was distributed to PBS stations nationwide by American Public Television in 2014-15. Lindsey has written dozens of popular articles on recovery. She is a recovery advocate and frequent keynote speaker. Lindsey is the author of 100 Tips for Growing Up, My 20 Years of Recovery, 2019. Before focusing on recovery, Lindsey was a TV and screenwriter. She has worked in publishing, web development, and marketing.

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