To many, it can be hard to tell when you’re in a toxic relationship. After years of dealing with the abuse, or letting little red flags go until it seems like it’s “too late,” these signs may not pop as much as they would for others. This can be dangerous – while these signs aren’t necessarily about physical abuse, they can lead to it. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-723 (or 911 for an immediate emergency). Do any of these four signs seem familiar?
Have you ever been prevented from going out with a group of friends because your partner would “rather you didn’t?” How much privacy do you have when it comes to your phone? Do you have to hand it over to your partner every night, while they refuse to let you see theirs? When was the last time you were truly allowed to do something that you wanted to do when you wanted to do it?
Even healthy relationships have problems with communication every now and then, but how often have you said something that sent your partner over the edge? When was the last time they told you where they were going without an argument erupting because you simply asked for their whereabouts? Do they ignore your texts and calls to punish you? That’s called ghosting.
There should be no reason to be afraid of your partner. If they make you feel uneasy or anxious because you can’t tell if they’re in a good or bad mood, why be in the relationship? When was the last time you felt safe or comfortable around your partner without having to worry about mood swings?
It’s always your fault, right? You can’t do anything well enough for your partner. They always have to come “fix” something for you. They always are the ones who end up “hurt” after an argument that should have ended with them apologizing to you. Isn’t it weird that even when you know that they’re in the wrong, you’re the one who ends up becoming the “villain?”
As soon as you spot one of these signs or a trusted friend mentions they observed something similar, find a way to leave this relationship. “Last chances” never work – they will not change.
**If you are in an abusive relationship or someone you know is, call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-723. For more information, click here.
*Be sure the abuser doesn’t know about any preparations to leave; create a plan which includes preparing clothes, cash, food, and a destination; join a domestic violence survivors group to discuss the situation and feelings; make sure someone knows about the situation; call the hotline for help from a payphone or someone else’s; if you’re/someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911/the authorities.
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