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Define highly emotionally healthy people, please

Yes, m’am. From the Internet, highly emotionally healthy people…

They might beĀ kind, decent, noble — even selfless. They’re still human beings, and they will react to the way things affect them, personally. So, if you want to engage with people effectively, think about whether your words and actions are offered in a way that seems to support them, or that seems to support yourself.

-Bill Murphy Jr. for Inc.com

Basically, people who are highly emotionally intelligent seem to have a lot of the same habits, and those habits have been practiced and honed. But, those habits help to create a very happy, satisfying life and that’s what we’re striving towards, right? Yes.

What are the habits of highly emotionally healthy people

I’ve considered the lists of what other writers and psychologists have compiled as these habits and I’ve chosen to write here about the ones I believe in or have truly experienced myself. So, let’s go.

  1. Gain control after failure – It is essential for everyone. We all fail at something along the way. We in recovery, often have a lot of failures to overcome. To find our way back on the path is necessary so consider what that looks like for you right now. Is there a failure to recover from?
  2. Find meaning in the trauma – if you’re like me you have some of the following in your history: childhood trauma, death trauma, trauma from an addiction life, and maybe a few other things. Trauma work was so important for me because it turned rage and resentment into compassion and kindness. If you’re broken, fix the pieces and find the glue to hold them together.
  3. Find connection – some of the greatest minds were warped by loneliness. Loneliness can cause depression, despair, and the desire to cause self-harm. Sometimes we’re not good with people and that’s when animals become useful. Get into the rescue and foster community. Just find people and creatures and keep them close.
  4. Forgive and repair relationships when possible – I have a lot of experience with this one. Sometimes we get into terrible fights with people we love, sometimes it’s because the relationships have become unhealthy. That’s OK. It happens all the time in recovery. But, learn some boundaries and work it out if you can. If it isn’t safe, do not.
  5. Stay positive – this isn’t just about being a member of the gratitude club, which I am, but I know annoys some curmudgeons. This is about keeping perspective, this is about not letting setbacks stop you from reaching your goals.
  6. Work on personal development – for me this one leans toward building self-esteem and self-acceptance. My mom calls it being a constant self-improver but it basically means always trying to better oneself, and never getting complacent.
  7. Place a priority on self-care – and this includes everything from financial planning, to mental health, to relationship nurturing. Emotionally intelligent people know these things don’t get better or take of themselves. You have to work hard on all of it.
  8. Care about physical health – when you lose your physical health, you lose everything. I’ve seen it first-hand. Whether it means managing a health issue or simply staying healthy with diet and exercise, people who really value themselves take care of themselves.

Being a highly emotionally intelligent person is not out of reach. It just takes a little time and effort, like everything else worth doing. So, try a few of these habits out and see how they work for you. Remember, change happens slowly by adding better habits into your life over time. But, it works!

Check out my book 100
Tips For Growing Up

100 Tips For Growing Up

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Lindsey Glass

Lindsey Glass is the co-founder of Reach Out Recovery. Her 2016 ASAM Media Award winning documentary, The Secret World Of Recovery, has helped to lift the stigma from addiction and recovery and is used in recovery programs nationwide to show what life is like on the other side of addiction. Lindsey's teen prevention documentary, The Silent Majority, was distributed to PBS stations nationwide by American Public Television in 2014-15. Lindsey has written dozens of popular articles on recovery. She is a recovery advocate and frequent keynote speaker. Lindsey is the author of 100 Tips for Growing Up, My 20 Years of Recovery, 2019. Before focusing on recovery, Lindsey was a TV and screenwriter. She has worked in publishing, web development, and marketing.

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