Manipulation makes you a fixer by getting you to do, often unreasonable, things that you really don’t want to do. It’s important to know that manipulation is often built on a series of lies and misinformation. Lies what’s really happening or about you inspire negative feelings. You feel guilty or sad, and you worry about what the manipulator thinks of you, and what could happen if you don’t do what he/she wants.
Why manipulation makes you a fixer who can’t ever win
Your natural eagerness to help in every way fuels the manipulator to ask for more. Yet no matter how many hoops you jump through nothing is fixed for long. Manipulators rely on you to back down and give in to ever greater demands. Call it an addiction.
Manipulators use arguments, moods, emotional threats, etc. to keep you working for them no matter what the cost to you. A few examples include:
- Transportation anywhere any time for any reason
- Money for crisis after crisis
- Help finding shelter, jobs, food, travel, medical needs, law enforcement, legal
- Job covering up or fixing things
- Moral Support on the phone for hours every day
How to disengage is ridiculously easy in concept and incredibly difficult in reality because manipulators will stop at nothing to confuse you and make you think you’re both essential to them and crazy or selfish or plain mean for objecting. Steps to recovering your sanity and your life include Awareness, Thinking About Change, and Taking Action. read more
